


Hold On To Me

by Obsessivecompulsivereadr



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:53:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsessivecompulsivereadr/pseuds/Obsessivecompulsivereadr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Evans returns to McKinley and finds a different Kurt Hummel than the one he left behind.  This is an AU from Hold On To Sixteen through The Spanish Teacher.  Certain sections will follow canon, but with the Kum relationship put in place of certain scenes in the canon story line.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally meant to be longer, but this is the story I was doing when my Glee Muse died on me.

Sam Evans had really never expected to be walking the halls of McKinley again.  Hoped maybe.  Dreamed about coming back? Yes.  Expected it?  Never.

So many milestones in his life had happened here.  He’d met Quinn Fabray, and he’d had his heart trampled on for the first time.  He’d experienced the hurricane of emotion known as Santana Lopez, who had simultaneously taught him how to be free and how to live in a cage of self-doubt.  And then, there’d been Mercedes Jones, a friend who had evolved into more and then evolved again into less. 

In these halls, he’d made the best friends of his life, and in that same group of people, he’d also found rivals.  He really hadn’t expected Finn Hudson to have been one of the people to bring him back.  There had been so much rivalry between them over Quinn. 

Finn had always been the force that kept Quinn from really being with Sam.  And Quinn had ultimately cheated on Sam with him.  Sure, they’d let matters go eventually, since Finn had ended up with Rachel.  But he’d expected it to be awkward dealing with Finn.

Rachel, now she, he could have expected.  If there was anyone who would do anything to win, it was Rachel Berry.  So the fact that she’d come to Kentucky to find him hadn’t been as shocking.  If she thought that he was needed for them to win Sectionals, she’d do what she needed to get him there. 

But honestly, if he would have had to guess about who would have sought him out alongside Rachel Berry, his guess would have been Kurt Hummel. 

 _Kurt Hummel_. 

He would not have been surprised at all if it had been Kurt standing with Rachel and asking him to come back.  Not because Kurt would have missed him.  But because Kurt was one of the few people who had ever actually told Sam that he was talented. 

Rachel and Quinn, even Santana really, were all about how Sam’s sex appeal could help the group.  Even the guys, as insecure in their manhood as they could be, Puck and Mike being the exceptions, were all about how Sam could make the group sexier.  

He knew his voice was good, but they sometimes made him feel as if that wasn’t what mattered.  He missed feeling like he was just _good_ , and he’d only ever gotten those feeling around one person.  And that person was a milestone in Sam’s life that had never actually happened. 

Kurt Hummel was what he considered a what-could-have-been. 

When he sat and took time to think about it, in a way, it had been Kurt leading him back to Glee.  When Sam approached the choir room doorway on his first day back, he’d heard him talking in the room. 

He’d recognized Kurt’s voice immediately, because, who wouldn’t?  Kurt’s voice was naturally higher than anyone that Sam had ever met.  And his voice was melodic.  He’d noticed it the first day they’d met, and he noticed it during each day after that. 

He’d been saying something to the group about the Titanic hitting the iceberg and the group being on a sinking ship, and Sam’s first thought had been “ _not if I can help it_.” 

And so he’d said it.  His first words uttered when he’d returned to the choir room were a reply to Kurt Hummel.  How fitting.

He’d tried to avoid looking at Kurt when he walked in that first day, but his gaze flickered over to him out of habit.  Just like it used to do back then.  He’d always found Kurt’s face in this room.  It didn’t matter how many members were in the Glee Club, when Sam thought of the choir room, he thought of Kurt Hummel.

Kurt had looked shocked, and also excited, to see him.  But then Sam had caught sight of Kurt’s boyfriend, Blaine Anderson, and then Kurt looked away from him again. 

As he’d greeted the rest of the group, Sam saw Kurt mouth the word “ _Sam_ ” to a newer group member, one who looked surprisingly like Kurt. 

He’d grabbed his guitar and slung it over his shoulder, and he’d caught a glimpse of a smile from Kurt.  Kurt had once told him that he looked the most comfortable with a guitar in his hands.  He’d pulled out a song from his wheelhouse, Red Solo Cup, because it was exactly the kind of song that would make Kurt look at him with his signature “ _What the fuck are you thinking, Sam_?” expression. 

And he’d been right; because Kurt had sat there, quite obviously wondering what the hell had gotten in to all of them while they sang it.  And Kurt had been looking into his celebratory red solo cup as if he wished there was something in it that was stronger and more satisfying than sparkling cider. 

He’d also been staring at the cup as if to figure out why someone would write an epic song singing its praises.  With a raised eyebrow, in true Hummel style, of course.

And then, just when he’d felt that he was back where he belonged, Santana walked in, equipped with her pointed jabs at Sam’s mouth, welcoming him back in her own special way. 

By trying to tear down his self-confidence.  He could hate that about her, if he didn’t already know that she did that to hide her own faults.

And then there had been Quinn.  He really hadn’t expected Quinn to make a play for him the very moment he returned to Lima.  He was tired of her rich white girl problems and her desperate need to have something she could show off at parties. 

So he’d turned her down, leaving her with no doubt in her mind that he would never be hers again.  She’d ruined that the first time around, and he wasn’t going to give her a chance to do it again.

 

 

Sam Evans was back at McKinley, and Kurt Hummel was sure that this was going to be bad. 

And good at the same time.  When Finn had mentioned that he and Rachel were going to drive to Kentucky and convince Sam to come back, Kurt had been moments away from offering to go with them. 

Well, begging probably would have been a more appropriate description of his thoughts at the time. 

Until he’d seen the look on Blaine’s face when the words left Finn’s mouth.  And then Kurt remained wisely quiet about his desire to see Sam. 

After all, Blaine knew all about how Kurt had felt about Sam during the previous school year.  Kurt had mentioned him a few times during the time he’d been attending Dalton Academy.  Well, maybe more than a few times.  But that had been during the time when Blaine had so successfully friend-zoned Kurt. 

Blaine had no reason to be irritated about Sam because Kurt had never even dated the boy.  But, oh, how he’d wanted to date Sam.  Kurt had been attracted to Sam Evans since the day they’d met. 

But Sam was either very straight, or he was very good at being in the closet, because there had never been a sign that his feelings were returned. 

Kurt was rarely mistaken when it came to his gaydar, but Sam had always been a mystery to him on many levels.

Blaine had asked him once, long before the two of them had starting dating, what Kurt would have done if Sam had shown the slightest interest in him before he’d transferred to Dalton.  Without thinking, and with a wave of dismissal with his hand, Kurt had replied that he would have stayed at McKinley. 

The thought had startled Kurt with its accuracy.  He’d been walking through the hallway with Blaine, and they were just talking about Kurt’s transfer and his reasons for it, and Sam, and Finn, and even David Karofsky. 

And then Blaine had asked that question and Kurt had just stopped walking.  Right in the middle of the hallway.  And that was when he’d realized that he really _would_ have stayed if Sam had been interested in Kurt at all. 

That realization had been awkward, because he’d admitted it to Blaine. 

But it had also been a bit shocking to Kurt.  That despite everything that had gone on with Karofsky, he would have stayed if Sam had been a possibility in Kurt’s life. 

And then Kurt had moved on, both literally and figuratively, because Sam _hadn’t been_ a possibility in his life.  He’d moved on with his life at Dalton, and he’d moved on to Blaine, patiently waiting until Blaine figured out that Kurt was more than the GAP boy, Jeremiah. 

Even when Kurt had transferred back to deal with Karofsky and the Bully Whips, and all that had happened during that time, he still had Blaine in his life.

And Sam had moved on at McKinley.  From Quinn.  To Santana.  And then to Mercedes.    

Quinn and Santana, Kurt hadn’t minded. 

But when Sam had chosen Mercedes, _that_ had hurt.  He’d also felt guilty for being jealous of Mercedes.  She’d deserved something good in her life, and Sam had been that for her. 

He couldn’t begrudge her that even if she had _always_ known how Kurt had felt about Sam.

So, he’d given up his chance to see Sam, his one chance in case Sam decided not to transfer back, and then days later, there he was, walking into the choir room with a huge grin on his face and the words “ _not if I can help it_ ” on his lips.

And Kurt had to avoid looking at him because of Blaine.  Kurt wanted to be one of the people who got to hug him in welcome, but that wasn’t going to be possible. 

Partly because of Blaine, but also because he and Sam had never been that to each other.  As accepting and friendly as Sam was, he’d never been someone close enough for Kurt to hug like that.  There had been times in his life when he’d just wanted to hold on to Sam Evans and never let go, like when he’d fought Karofsky for bullying Kurt.  But that hadn’t been meant to be. 

Kurt had wanted to burst out laughing when Sam began singing Red Solo Cup.  It was exactly a song he would have expected Sam to sing.  Something weird and hilarious and dorky and so very Sam. 

There was a point in the song, when Kurt looked at Blaine, and he thought he saw Blaine mocking Sam.  He mouthed a question at him, but Blaine ignored him and continued dancing.  His body language suggested that Blaine was having the time of his life dancing with the others, but nobody could read Blaine’s face like Kurt could.  And Blaine wasn’t happy.

Blaine would just never accept Sam, not as long as Kurt did anything to suggest that Sam still meant anything to him.  Even if Kurt never spoke Sam’s name or ever uttered a word to the boy, Blaine would be there, glaring at him and daring him to do it. 

 

 

“Six. Seven. Eight.” Mr. Schuester counted off, and they started the routine again.  “Bump Bump Bump.  Step and hit.” Mr. Schue counted off with frustration.  “Come on.  To the beat.”

“What does it even matter?” Puck asked, “It’s not like we have a chance at winning.  Not without the girls.”  Puck stopped dancing and stared at their Glee teacher.

And the group was falling apart again. 

“Sir, girls smell better than ham, and when they’re dancing and bouncing around, you can’t help but watch them,” Rory added. 

Sam was a bit weirded out by the reference to ham, but if that was Rory’s thing, then whatever.  But it had apparently given Mr. Schue an idea.

“Well, that’s it then.  We’ll take what’s most appealing about us, as a group, and we’ll use it to our advantage.”  Schue started brainstorming in front of them.

And Sam felt disappointed.  Because it was going to come back to what Finn and Rachel had talked about.  Sex appeal.  On the drive back to Lima, they’d hounded him about his decision to work as a stripper, and they’d wondered how they could put some of the tamer moves into a routine. 

It wasn’t as if he was ashamed that he’d been dancing like that.  It was because that’s all that ever seemed to be brought up around him.  Rachel had been all about him being a boy next door, but she’d gone back to pimping him out as the sex appeal of New Directions.

And he might not have brought it up.  He might have let it slide.  If Anderson hadn’t started it.    

Blaine had brought out a typical boy-band move.  Mike, of course, could nail the spin immediately, but that’s because he was Mike.  Finn was unsurprisingly, _unable_ to nail it.  Rory looked uncomfortable doing it.  Puck probably didn’t think it was sexy _enough_.  And Kurt thought it was “ _cute_.”

It was the “ _cute_ ” that did it for Sam. 

Finn shared a glance with Sam, and he could tell that Finn thought the spin was ridiculous.  So Sam stood up.  _Cute_ was not what they needed.  _Cute_ wasn’t good enough.  He might not like having to use sex appeal, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to be “ _cute._ ”

“God.  Okay.  Stop, stop.” Sam challenged them. 

Blaine stared back with complete disregard in his eyes for anything Sam might have been about to say.

Sam imitated the spin.  “This.  Is totally boyband.  What we need to sell here.” He did a quick body roll. “Is sex.”

“What the hell is that?”  Blaine sneered at him. 

“It’s a body roll.”

“It’s not a body roll.” Blaine shot back.

So Sam showed off more of his moves he learned at the club, and he smirked to himself when Kurt literally came out of his seat behind Blaine.  Then he smiled even more when he saw Kurt realize what he was doing.  And Kurt bit his lip.    

That was satisfying.  The entire argument with Anderson was worth that one reaction out of Kurt.

Sam laughed to himself as the other members of the club tried it out, even Artie in his wheelchair.  Finn was in his own little world trying to do a Finn version of the body roll, which didn’t _ever_ look like a body roll when Finn did it.  But at least the boy _knew_ he couldn’t dance.

“The man’s not wrong.  I got tingles where it’s only fifty-fifty for tingling,” Artie bragged and smiled at Sam.

“Yeah.  Yeah.  Sam, that’s awesome.  That’s exactly what we need.”  Finn slapped Sam on the back.

“No,” Blaine interrupted, “that’s not… that’s not…what we need.  We don’t have to resort to…to” he gestured at Sam’s form, “ _That_.  It’s cheap.  You know.  It’s selling out.”

And Sam saw Kurt’s face fall in the background.

“I came back here to win.  When you’re desperate, sometimes you gotta, you know, use your assets and do what you gotta do to get back that advantage.  And this,” he did another body roll, “is the advantage.”

“Of course that’s what you think.  You have to think that in order to sleep at night.” Blaine mocked.

“What the hell does that mean?” Sam countered.

“It means…that I’m. Not. For. Sale.” Blaine shot back.

And Sam pushed him backwards.  He was tired of people judging him over what he had to do to help his family stay afloat. 

He was ready to go further when Mr. Schue and Finn stepped between them.  And then Anderson walked out, shooting a “ _forget it_ ” at them when he left the room.

Sam thought it was strange that Kurt didn’t follow him.

 

 

“It wasn’t just about you, you know,” Kurt found Sam lost in his thoughts in the auditorium. 

Kurt had sent Finn after Blaine, because honestly, he didn’t feel like listening to another tantrum about how everybody was being unfair and not listening to Blaine. 

Blaine had gone from one group that had treated him as if his voice dripped with gold into a group where most members fought to be heard.  Blaine had expected that he’d be given the same treatment the Warblers had given him.  And he’d been pissed when he discovered they wouldn’t. 

Kurt had tried to warn him.  Blaine should have known just based on all the complaining Kurt always did when _he_ was ignored.  But Blaine didn’t usually listen to Kurt.  Because if he really did _listen_ to Kurt, then Blaine wouldn’t be spending as much time with Sebastian as he did. 

It’s not that the Glee situation was all Blaine’s fault.  Finn had done his share of tantrum-throwing as well because he was scared of losing his spot as Mr. Schue’s favorite.  Since Kurt had never had that spot, he couldn’t really imagine what that felt like to Finn.  But if it had been anything at all like Kurt had felt when Burt Hummel had started bonding with Finn, then he very well could imagine it.

Sam shifted slightly from his perch on the stage and looked at Kurt. 

“You sure?  Because it sure sounded like it was all about your boyfriend thinking I’m cheap.”

Kurt was walking towards him, nervous, he realized, when he felt how strong his grip was on the strap of his bag. 

“Well, that is one way to put it, I guess,” Kurt smiled wryly as he came to a stop a few feet from Sam.  “I’m sorry he said that.  He should be too, but I’ll guarantee you that he won’t be in here saying it.”

“And why’s that?”  Sam leaned back on his hands.

“Because he’s Blaine Anderson,” Kurt shrugged.  “My guess is that Finn will find him pounding on something in the weight room trying to get out his issues.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It’s a very long story,” Kurt sighed.  He adjusted his cardigan that covered the white shirt underneath, all the while ridiculously wishing he’d worn something different today.  “I just wanted to say that it wasn’t just about you.  I’m not going to lie and say that he doesn’t have a problem with you, but that wasn’t all that was about in there.”

“First,” Sam held up one finger, “what else was it then?”

“Finn partly.  Ever since Blaine transferred, he’s been kind of the darling of Glee.  He’s getting most of the solos in the group, he got the lead in West Side Story, and Finn thinks Mr. Schue has a new favorite now.  So Finn’s been acting out against Blaine.  And now Blaine’s threatened by you.  Because people listen to you.” 

 _Because I listen to you_.  That part was left unsaid.

“And Finn brought you back.”  Kurt leaned up against the stage near Sam. 

“I’m not a threat, Kurt.” Sam looked down at him.

“Maybe.  Maybe not.  But Blaine feels that you are,” Kurt replied quietly.  “And Finn had already made it clear that Blaine was a threat to him, so he was acting out towards both of you.  I’m not saying it’s right.  I’m just saying that it’s what he’s doing.  He doesn’t really know much about your family’s situation.”

“He doesn’t seem to care to find out either,” Sam said.

“No, he probably doesn’t care.  Because it’s you.” 

“Why?”  Sam asked quietly.  “Is this about the second thing?  The problem he has with me?  I’ve never done anything to him.”

Kurt took a deep breath, one that ended on a sigh that seemed too loud to his own ears.  “I know.”

“Then what is his issue?” Sam sounded bewildered instead of angry.

“I want to explain it.  But I don’t know how.  Can you just trust me that it has nothing to do with anything you’ve personally done to him?” 

But Kurt really _didn’t_ want to explain because if he did, he’d have to confess to feelings he’d had for Sam that Sam knew nothing about.  And now was not the time, if there would ever be a proper time, to do that.

“I guess.  I trust you.  Him?  Not so much.”

“I can see that.  When Blaine feels like something he wants is going to be taken away, he can get unpredictable, and angry.” Kurt adjusted the bag on his shoulder and began walking down the aisle toward the auditorium exit.

Strangely enough, it was the exact same behavior, that in Kurt, Blaine disliked.  Kurt was upset that Blaine would not stop allowing Sebastian into his life despite knowing what the Warbler wanted from Blaine.  And yet, if Kurt dared to complain about or become angry with Sebastian, then Blaine got mad at Kurt for not _understanding_ the Warbler.

“What in the world does he think I’m going to take away from him?” Sam’s confusion was adorable.  He really had no clue, which made Kurt even more determined to not let him find out.

“His spot in Glee.  His position here at McKinley.”  _Me_ , he thought.

“That doesn’t make sense to me.  I’m not important enough for him to fight against.  There’s no way my voice compares to his when it comes to getting solos.”  Sam jumped down off the stage and came closer to Kurt.  “So what is it, really?  I can tell when you’re hiding something.” 

It was ironic that Sam could tell when he was hiding something, but Blaine never could.

“Sam.  I can’t.”  Kurt wasn’t above pleading to get out of talking about this. 

He’d imagined ducking in there to apologize and getting out quickly before having any kind of lengthy interaction with Sam.  And he’d failed.

“Kurt, what is it?  I can’t stop doing whatever it is he hates if I don’t know what that is.”

“It’s not something you did, or do.  I told you that.  So you couldn’t stop it anyway.”

Sam leaned his head back and sighed at the ceiling.  “Then what?”

It seemed Kurt had made it worse.  By trying to soothe Sam’s worries, he’d given him something else to bother him. 

“Sam, look at me.”

Sam let his head roll forward, and then he tilted it to the side, as if he were stretching.  Then he met Kurt’s gaze.

“It’s not you.  Well, it’s not about _you_ the way you think it is.”  Kurt dropped his bag with a frustrated shrug. 

“Kurt.  Tell me.  What is it?”  Sam’s voice was low and almost sad. 

“Sam, it’s about me.  Just me.  Oh, my god, this is like a replay of that conversation in the showers.  _It’s not you, it’s me_ ,” Kurt laughed nervously and looked away from Sam.

“Stop.  What is it?”

“It’s stupid Sam, and it’s kind of embarrassing.  So just let me say this and then forget all about hearing it after I leave because that’s the only way I’ll be able to look you in the eye.  He’s afraid of losing _me_.  To _you_.   And it’s not about you.  He knows that you would never want me in the first place because you’re straight.  It’s that he knows that I had feelings for you last year, because I told him about it before he and I started dating.  And he was obsessed with it the whole time he was at Dalton and I was here last year.  And now that you’re back, he’s even more concerned about it.  And I’m babbling again.  So I’m going to go now.  And you are going to forget I ever said this,” Kurt picked his bag up and hoisted it onto his shoulder.

Kurt watched as Sam’s face began to show his understanding of Kurt’s confession.  His mouth pursed a little in thought, and his eyes slightly darted back and forth as if he were processing the information.  If Kurt wasn’t so freaked out about the confession itself, he would laugh because it was just too damn cute. 

Kurt smiled at him, and then walked away.  He’d let him figure it out on his own.

“Kurt, wait!” Sam shouted when Kurt got halfway down the aisle. 

He turned, continued walking backwards. 

“Nope.  See you later, Sam.”

He was definitely not going to stay any longer and risk further humiliation.


	2. Chapter 2

_“I had feelings for you last year_.” 

The words kept echoing in Sam’s mind as he stared at the ceiling in ‘ _his_ ’ room. 

He was currently staying at the Berry house, but there had been some talk of him moving into the Hummel-Hudson home at some point during his stay.  The two families had sworn to his parents that they would both take full responsibility for Sam while he was back in Lima.  So apparently that meant staying half of the time with the Berrys and half of the time with the Hummel-Hudson clan.

He could live with that.  He’d rather spend all this time at Kurt’s but it was awkward with Finn there.  But then again, it was also awkward at Rachel’s because Finn was always there too. 

Kurt had said that he _had_ feelings, which meant that those feelings must be gone now.  If Kurt had still wanted Sam, he wouldn’t have confessed to that.  Although, Kurt was the most upfront person Sam had ever met, so maybe doing that, being so honest, was exactly something that Kurt would do.

If Kurt could be so fucking honest about things, then why couldn’t Sam?  Kurt didn’t even know that Sam was bisexual.  He’d never even tried to tell him before he’d moved last year. 

So as far as Kurt knew, Sam was a straight as it gets.  Although he’d experimented, he’d only ever _dated_ girls while he’d been at McKinley before, so Kurt had nothing else to go on for comparison.  Even though Kurt was the first person to suspect something about his sexuality.

“ _Maybe you are straight_.”

Sam had been surprised when Kurt had said that on the first day they had met.  So surprised, that a denial hadn’t even formed on his lips before Kurt was off making more plans about their duet.  He wasn’t even sure what he was going to say to that before Kurt had walked back down the hallway.  Would things have been different if he had said it?  Would everything have been different for him?

Kurt thought Sam was just the most understanding and accepting _straight_ boy he’d ever met.  It made him feel like a fraud.  Like he was ruining Kurt’s idea of him.  Sam wanted there to be hundreds of straight guys that would treat Kurt the way he should be treated. 

Like normal.  Because he _was_ normal.  And Kurt felt like he’d had _normal_ with Sam.  But that’s only because he didn’t know that Sam was bi.  If Kurt did know, what if he felt betrayed by that?

And where did Anderson fit in?  How could any feelings Kurt have had for him be in anyway comparable to what Kurt felt for his boyfriend?  He couldn’t imagine how Anderson could be threatened by that. 

But threatened he was, apparently, after that ridiculous display during Glee.

 

 

Sam was leaning against the wall and watched Kurt come around the corner.  He stepped out and walked in line with him, glad that Blaine was nowhere in sight. 

“Can we talk for a minute?” Sam asked quietly.

“Why?” Kurt stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at him suspiciously. 

“Not here.  Follow me.” Sam led him down the hallway and in to the auditorium.

Kurt filed in behind him, and Sam watched as his beautiful eyes scanned back and forth down the hall, probably looking for Blaine.  He was always looking for Blaine.

“Look if this is about what I said yesterday, then I don’t want to talk about it,” Kurt dropped his messenger bag on the floor and sat down in one of the seats. 

“It’s kind of about that, I’ll admit.  But it’s also more.”  Sam sat down in a seat beside him, and he wiped his hands on his knees.  Being honest about things was nerve-wracking.  Especially when it involved Kurt. 

“What is it?” Kurt sat back and crossed one sexy leg over the other.  _Focus_ , Sam.

“I’m not sure how you are going to take this, honestly.”

“What is it, Sam?  I humiliated myself enough yesterday.  I don’t want to go through that again.”

“That’s not what this is about.  It’s about, well.  Me.”  Sam fidgeted in his seat. 

“Okay,” Kurt sighed.  “What is it?  Is it about Mercedes?”

“No, okay, you know how you were embarrassed about telling me that you’d had feelings for me…”

“I said I didn’t want to talk about that, Sam.” Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Sam.

“Chill, dude.  It’s just a segue.  I’m leading in to what I need to say.  Can you not glare at me like that?  This is hard enough.”

“Sorry.  Go on,” Kurt’s expression softened some, and he gestured for Sam to continue.

“I needed to tell you that… well I sort of… some of your instincts were right you know… about some things that I… am.  You know?” 

Well, that was unhelpful.  What the hell did that even mean?  That was really going to win him points with Kurt, that’s for sure.

“Sam,” Kurt’s eyebrow rose elegantly.  “That was incredibly unclear.  What are you trying to tell me?”

Sam looked around to make sure nobody else was in the auditorium, and he took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, “I’m bisexual, Kurt.”

“No, you’re not,” Kurt’s mouth dropped open. “What? _How_ are you bisexual?”

“Um.  Yes, I am bisexual.  I’m pretty sure you should understand the concept of the _how_.”

“Since when?” Kurt asked.

Sam arched a brow at the question. 

“Sorry, forget that.  Stupid question,” Kurt waved his hand dismissively.  “Why are you telling me this now?  Is this just a joke, Sam?  Because of what I admitted to you yesterday?” 

Kurt’s eyes were filling with tears, and his mouth quivered a little, and it nearly broke Sam’s heart.  God, Kurt could not cry.  He could not stand it when Kurt cried.

“No! I’d never do that, Kurt.  I just… needed to tell you.”

“Why?  Why now?  All this time, I thought you were the most accepting _straight_ boy I’d ever met.  And you aren’t.  Well, you’re still accepting.  But _not_ straight?  You’re kind of freaking me out, Sam.  Why are you telling me this _now_?”

Kurt stood up, and Sam was afraid he would bolt out of the room.  Sam grabbed Kurt’s hand to make sure he didn’t, and he pulled him back down into the seat.

“Calm down.  I’m telling you this because I was thinking about what you said.  And I realized that if you could be so honest with me about yourself, that I should be able to be honest with you,” Sam shrugged.

But now he was beginning to wonder if this had been a bad idea.

“How long have you known you were bisexual?” Kurt cleared the hoarseness from his voice after asking the question.

“Since middle school.  I’ve had crushes on boys and girls before.  In the all-boys school I went to, I even dated a few guys.  When I got here though…” Sam shrugged and left the sentence unfinished.

“You saw what McKinley was like and decided to date girls here?” Kurt whispered. 

“Not at first.  I was attracted to someone when I first moved here.  But it didn’t work out because he didn’t feel the same way.  And then I hooked up with Quinn.  Then Santana.  And then Mercedes of course.  It snowballed from there.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?  I could have and _would_ have helped you,” Kurt sounded hurt.  And that had not been Sam’s intention with this confession.

“At first, you didn’t really give me a chance.  I thought about it that first day we met, when you said that about me being straight because I’d never heard of those two dudes that did a duet.  But I wasn’t sure that I could trust you with that yet.  And then you broke off the duet, and I ended up dating Quinn.  And then there was never the right moment because I was already with Quinn.  Then you were off to Dalton, and it wasn’t important anymore.” 

There had never seemed to be the right time. 

“It was always important, no matter where I was, Sam.” Kurt looked at him intently.  “It was always important.”

“It was also… because of what you said to Blaine… about how you don’t believe in bisexuality,” Sam said quietly and looked at Kurt. 

“How do you even know what I said?” Kurt’s eyes flashed suddenly into anger.

“I overheard Mercedes and Rachel talking about it.  Apparently Blaine told her.” 

Sam had been disappointed when he’d heard them talking about how Kurt had lashed out at Blaine over questioning his sexuality.  He had never expected that kind of judgment to come from Kurt Hummel.

“Of course he did,” Kurt stood. 

“Are you angry with me, Kurt?” Sam asked quietly. 

“Yes and no.  I’m not angry that you finally told me.  But I really can’t do this right now,” Kurt shouldered his bag and took a few steps before stopping abruptly. 

He turned to Sam, and there were more tears in his eyes.  Maybe Kurt did feel betrayed.  Not only because Sam was tarnishing his image of the accepting straight guy that Kurt could depend on, but also because he didn’t believe in bisexuality. 

But was there something else?  Did he still have feelings for Sam?  It seemed like the only feeling he currently had for Sam was anger.

“What is it, Kurt?”

“I have to go.  But I can’t believe that you could sit here and tell me that you thought I would judge you over this.  Especially since _you_ judged _me_ based on a conversation that you weren’t involved in, and that you also didn’t even overhear.  You have no idea what my conversation with Blaine was about.  Hell, even Blaine never understood what that conversation was about.  But you were willing to accept it as gospel based on something that _Blaine_ told Rachel.  When you could have just come to me to find out the truth.”

“Kurt,” Sam held out his hand to stop Kurt from leaving. 

What had really gone on between Blaine and Kurt then?  If it hadn’t been about bisexuality?

“What do you want from me now?  Now that I admitted that I had feelings for you, all of a sudden, I’m trustworthy?  What’s this all about Sam?”

“What you said threw me for a loop yesterday.  Because you were the person that I was interested in last year.  Before I started dating Quinn,” Sam whispered.

“W-what?” Kurt looked astonished. 

“You were the person that I was attracted to… the one that didn’t work out because he didn’t feel the same way… that was you.”

“What made you think that I didn’t feel the same way?” Kurt sat back down, like his legs had given out.

“You dissolved our partnership.  I thought you figured out that I was in to you.  And I thought that by saying you didn’t want to sing with me, you were sending me a message,” Sam answered sadly.

“It had nothing to do with that.  Nothing at all, Sam,” Kurt’s eyes filled with tears again.  “If you were attracted to me, then why Quinn?” 

“Mixed messages and a shared feeling of loss, mostly.  She and I were wrong for each other from the beginning.  And I thought you didn’t want me at all.” 

“I need to go.  I can’t talk about this right now,” Kurt stood, and he was crying again.  “I just can’t when I know why everything got so fucked up.  And I’m angry because you didn’t trust me.  And if you’d trusted me, and I hadn’t let Finn…. I just can’t.  Not right now, Sam.”

“Kurt, wait.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s not your fault, Sam.  I’m fine with the bisexuality,” Kurt reached as if he were about to cup Sam’s face in his hand, but then pulled it back quickly as if touching Sam would burn him. 

“I’m upset about other things, Sam.  Things I can’t talk about at the moment.  I think I should have recorded our shower conversation, because it seems like that’s all I ever say to you.  It’s not you.  It’s not that I don’t accept you.  It’s me again.  I promise.  Just give me some time.”

Sam watched Kurt flee the auditorium, and he decided that honesty really wasn’t worth the heartache sometimes. 

 

 

No, this was not happening. 

Kurt got out of the auditorium as fast as he could, and it ducked into the nearest empty classroom that he found.  He moved out of the way, so he couldn’t be seen by the students in the hallway, and then he sunk down onto the floor, ignoring the possibility that his clothes would get dirty.

Kurt let the tears fall, and he cursed himself for getting upset.  He was supposed to be over Sam Evans.  Truthfully, he shouldn’t have had to get over Sam because there had been nothing more than friendship cut short by misunderstandings between them to begin with. 

It had just been a stupid crush.   Nothing more.  A crush that had started during the week Sam had joined Glee.  A crush that had intensified every time he’d seen Sam sing, heard him play guitar, or watched him with his siblings.  A crush that had gotten unbearable when he’d returned to McKinley and had seen how Quinn and Santana had treated Sam.

A crush that had hurt him when Sam had decided to pursue Mercedes.  He couldn’t fault Mercedes for dating Sam, because as far as she and Kurt knew, Sam was straight.  At the time, it hadn’t been like Kurt had had any real chance with Sam.  Or at least that’s what he’d thought.

He’d allowed himself to have friendship with Sam only after he’d started dating Blaine.  It had been safer.  He’d helped Sam when his family had lost everything, and he would have done more had Sam allowed him to do so.  But Sam had been proud. 

And even then, there were things Blaine didn’t know.  Like how Kurt had helped Sam’s family.  Blaine had never known that Kurt had visited him at the motel.  Because if he’d known, Kurt would have never heard the end of it from Blaine.  Deep down, Blaine didn’t trust him. 

Sam hadn’t trusted him either.  That hurt.  And the fact that he hadn’t trusted him based solely on a conversation between Blaine and Rachel hurt the most.  Sam should have known better than to believe everything Rachel said.  Hell, Rachel was the first person to accuse Kurt of cheating on Blaine with Sam.  So he should have known the kind of conclusions she could jump to if given enough opportunity.

He wrapped his arms around himself and he just sat.  He didn’t give a shit if the bell rang, or if two dozen students filed into the room, because he wasn’t going anywhere.  He was not about to go back out there.  He was not about to listen to anymore.

And it ripped his heart in two knowing that Sam had liked him too.  At the same time that Kurt had liked Sam.  And yet, because of Finn’s ridiculous paranoia and latent homophobia, Kurt had ended something that could have been great.  Fantastic even. 

And now all he would have left of that was regret. 

Kurt’s phone buzzed, and he slid it open to read the incoming message.

**Message from Unknown Number (3:22 pm):  Plz come back.  We need to fix this.**

Sam still had his phone number?  He’d given it to Sam last year during the duet week.  They had texted back and forth a few times, but he hadn’t heard from Sam at all after he moved back to Kentucky.  And Sam had had to sell his cell phone back when the family had lost their home.

Kurt entered Sam’s name into his contacts list.  He didn’t need confirmation that the incoming message had been from him.  He’d known it.

**To Sam (3:24 pm):  I can’t.  Not right now.  I’ll talk to you later about the other thing.  We’re still okay Sam.  I promise.**

**Message from Sam (3:26 pm):  Plz Kurt.  I hate it when you cry.**

Well, it wasn’t as if Kurt just enjoyed crying.  And why was it whenever someone said that to him, it was always the person who made him cry in the first place? 

He hated that. 

Blaine did it whenever he bitched him out over something, like when Kurt complained about Sebastian.  He’d say something to upset Kurt and then complain that he hated to see Kurt cry. 

Kurt’s chest ached when he thought about what could have happened between them if Finn hadn’t convinced him to end the duet.  It had just been a stupid song.   A song that nobody else but the members of Glee would have ever seen them sing.  And yet, Finn had treated it as if a simple song would have made Sam a target for the entire school. 

And Kurt had let him.  Because as far as he’d known, he hadn’t been allowed to have Sam.  And he’d regretted it from the start.  But now?  To find out that Sam had liked him back at the time? 

That was worse because he’d given Sam up for _nothing_.  And he hadn’t even known that he was giving up more than a duet because Sam hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him that. 

Kurt had thought he’d been protecting Sam.  Making it easier for him to survive being in Glee.  Finn had convinced him that singing with Kurt would make Sam a bigger target than he already was. 

And it was all for nothing.  How in the hell could he go back and fix that?

**To Sam (3:30 pm):  Then don’t make me cry.**

He knew as soon as he hit send that it had been a juvenile response. 

But he couldn’t do this right now.  He could not sit there and listen to Sam say that he’d been interested in him, but not enough to follow through on it.  He hadn’t even had the courage to ask Kurt why he’d ended the duet.

If he’d been that interested, how could he have so quickly moved on to Quinn? 

And he had no business judging Kurt on a conversation that he’d not been a part of… a conversation that had been a result of Blaine’s drunken sexual confusion. 

And he really had no business telling Kurt all of this now.  Not now.  Not after Kurt’s humiliating display the day before when he’d admitted to having had feelings for Sam.  Feelings that really weren’t in the past.  Feelings that were very much still in the present. 

And he really couldn’t survive this situation if he still wanted Sam, but Sam didn’t want him.  So he could never know that Kurt wasn’t over him.  And neither could Blaine.  His boyfriend had enough issues with Sam.  If he had the slightest idea that Kurt wasn’t over him, Blaine would be unbearable. 

Kurt stood and brushed off his pants.  He glanced at the time on his phone, and it should be clear for him to go home.  He’d have to find Blaine first, since he was driving him home today. 

He’d just avoid Sam for the rest of the week.  Or month.  Or year. 

Okay, now he was just being dramatic.  He’d be fine.  He’d get over his initial shock, and then he’d talk to Sam and reassure him that he was fine with his bisexuality.  And then they’d go back to being friends. 

And he would still have Blaine. 

Until Blaine gave in and left him for Sebastian anyway.  Because that was really just a matter of time.

Kurt gathered up his bag and went to get the remainder of his belongings from his car.  He texted a quick ‘ _Where are you?_ ’ to Blaine, and he got no reply.  Kurt wandered through the halls, checking the choir room and the classroom where Blaine’s English class, his last class of the day, was located.

Nothing.  He texted another message to Blaine and headed out of the school.  Only to find Blaine and Sam arguing at Kurt’s Navigator. 

Kurt rushed out towards his car and called out to them both.  They spun around, but it didn’t look like they’d been fighting again.  Arguing, yes.  Pushing each other, most likely.  Fist-fighting, no.

Kurt sighed and put his hands on his hips.  “What are you two doing?  Can’t you get along for a little while?”

Blaine said nothing.  He stalked over to the passenger side door and gestured for Kurt to unlock it.  Kurt pressed the feature on his key ring, and Blaine climbed inside, muttering to himself. 

“What’s going on Sam?  And I do not want to hear _he started it_.”

This was like mediating between children.  First the shove in the choir room and now this. 

“You might not want to hear it, but it’s true.  He did.” 

Blaine beeped the horn, and he gestured through the window for Kurt to hurry up.  Kurt held up a hand for him to wait and turned back to Sam. 

“What happened?”

“I was looking for you, and he was being an ass about it.”

“Why were you looking for me?” Kurt sighed again. 

They could not continue this conversation with his boyfriend just feet away, blistering mad and ready to pick a fight. This wasn’t the right time.

“We need to talk more about this.  About _us_ ,” his voice dipped lower.  “Just tell me when.”

A jolt of pleasure shot through him when Sam said ‘ _us_ ’ like that. 

But Kurt could not survive a conversation about any ‘ _us_ ’ that involved Kurt and Sam.  He could talk about Sam’s bisexuality.  He could talk about Sam’s choices in women.  He could talk about practically anything with Sam.  Except for that.

“Sam, we had a misunderstanding.  Poor timing.  There _is_ no us,” Kurt looked back at Blaine and smiled, but it didn’t do much to encourage Blaine to have some patience.

And he sure hoped Blaine couldn’t read lips, because if he could, Kurt would be in some serious trouble when he got into the car.

“It was more than that,” Sam stared, his hands shoved into his pockets.

Kurt looked back at Sam, and he was caught yet again by how beautiful Sam was. 

Sam looked incredible in regular tee shirts, and the white one he wore made him look even more perfectly tanned.  The jacket complemented his skin and his hair.  Kurt sighed.  What was he thinking?  Sam looked beautiful in anything he wore. 

That was part of the problem.

“Look Sam.  Last year was last year.  I’m over those feelings and so are you.  I’ve moved on.  And you need to do the same.  We can’t bring up this discussion again.  I have Blaine, _my boyfriend_ ,” Kurt emphasized through clenched teeth.

Sam locked eyes with Blaine and glared at him.  Kurt didn’t even bother turning to see the expression on Blaine’s face.  He didn’t need to because he could already picture it.

“I don’t care how big and bad your boyfriend _thinks_ he is.  We are going to work this out, just you and me, whether _he_ likes it or not,” Sam vowed seriously and walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

Why did he have to say that kind of thing to Kurt when Blaine was around?  Was he trying to drive Kurt crazy?  Because if he was, it was working.  Very well.

_I don’t care how big and bad your boyfriend thinks he is._

That brought images of Blaine puffing out his chest and trying to intimidate Sam.  He could imagine him trying to push Sam like he’d pushed David Karofsky that night during the benefit concert.  And he could imagine Sam ready and willing to beat him down, like Karofsky had been about to do when Santana interrupted and made vague random threats about razorblades. 

Kurt had to bite his lip to keep his laughter inside.  He would have laughed his ass off if Blaine had pushed it in the choir room, and Sam had knocked him on his ass.

He got control of himself before Blaine could see him laughing. 

“What was that all about, Blaine?” Kurt started the engine pulled the Navigator out of the school parking lot. 

“He’s an ass.  That’s what it’s about,” Blaine sat back in the seat and crossed his arms. 

“No, he’s not.  At least he’s never been.  I just think you two are not capable of getting along.  What was the argument about this time?”  Kurt watched the road and played with the radio stations absently.

“He was looking for you, and he wouldn’t tell me why,” Blaine glared when Kurt turned his head in his direction. 

“That was all?  That’s a lame reason to argue, don’t you think?” Kurt sighed inwardly. 

He knew any arguments would fall on deaf ears because this was Sam they were arguing about.  He could never stop disliking Sam.

“You know why he upsets me, Kurt.” Blaine retorted.

“Why do you constantly hold this against me?  Sometimes you’re as bad as Finn.  Am I supposed to apologize again for having a crush on him last year?  If so, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that I had a crush on a straight guy that I met _before_ I met you.  Excuse me, two straight guys, since I guess I still need to atone for liking Finn as well.  I’m with _you_ , Blaine.  How many times do you need reassurance of that?”

Kurt was really tired of being punished for being attracted to Sam.  He’d chosen not to mention Sam’s confession, not just because he doesn’t out people, but also because if Blaine knew Sam was bi, Kurt couldn’t even imagine how much complaining he’d have to listen to on a daily basis.

“You still flirt with him,” Blaine complained.

“I do not!” Kurt protested, even though he knew it would just fall on deaf ears.  Blaine never listened to anything Kurt said when it involved Sam.

Kurt had approached Sam only once since he’d come back to Lima, and that had been to apologize for Blaine’s behavior.  And he knew better to tell Blaine that he’d done it. 

After Sam’s confession, Kurt had started avoiding him so that he couldn’t be tempted.  And so that Blaine would not have ammunition to use against Kurt about him.  But admitting that would just make things worse.  And Blaine was the person who all but demanded that Kurt stay away from Sam. 

“Really?” Blaine glared back at him.

“Blaine, I do not flirt with Sam.  You, however, can and do flirt with Sebastian.  So who should be suspicious here?” 

Kurt knew it was a pointless argument.  Blaine would brush it off because he refused to discuss the topic of Sebastian.  So there was no good reason to bring up Sebastian because Blaine would get his way no matter what.

Blaine may never intend to cheat on Kurt, but he adored attention.  And Sebastian gave him a lot of it, so of course he would be drawn to that.  Even if he had the best of intentions.  The problem was that Kurt wasn’t sure that Blaine did have the best of intentions.

“Leave him out of this.  This has nothing to do with Sebastian.”

“And yet again, you don’t even address the comment about flirting with him.  I’m not blind, Blaine.”

“I don’t flirt with him.  He flirts with me.”

“And you think that smiling shyly at him, shrugging and looking at me with feigned disbelief that Sebastian has the bravery to say those kinds of things to you shows that you _aren’t_ flirting back?”

At least Kurt avoided Sam, which is more than he could say for his own boyfriend.  Blaine wasn’t willing to make the same sacrifice that he expected of Kurt.  All because he couldn’t deal with the idea that there was someone else that Kurt found attractive. 

That Kurt would be upset about Blaine’s desire for Sebastian’s attention never crossed Blaine’s mind.  As long as Blaine was the center of attention, all was right in his world. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Forget it, Blaine.  You don’t see it anyway.  Let’s just concentrate on the performance tonight.  I’m tired of all this arguing.”

“Fine.”

Why did he even bother?

 

 

“I found you,” Sam’s voice echoed through the otherwise empty room, and Kurt closed his eyes. 

“You were looking?” Kurt replied as if the words didn’t faze him.  As if he hadn’t been waiting all night for Sam to get him alone somewhere to rehash everything that Kurt really didn’t have the energy to rehash. 

Kurt was exhausted.  Sectionals tonight had been tiring in part because he’d spent the entire night trying to keep up appearances.  And Blaine had acted as if everything was fine. 

The show must go on and all that shit. 

Were they that predictable in their relationship that Blaine couldn’t have even acknowledged the fact that they weren’t speaking to each other?  Giving Blaine the silent treatment didn’t work anyway.  He’d learned that lesson a while back. 

Blaine had acted as if Kurt hadn’t even been in the room, and he’d felt Sam’s gaze all night.  That was ironic.  He was attuned to Sam, like every glance and every breath and every sigh from Sam was electric and drew Kurt’s attention towards him.

He’d had a feeling this would happen.  He couldn’t ignore Sam before he’d known that Sam had had feelings the year before.  So how in the hell was he supposed to ignore him now?

It had been bad enough that Sam had sat at the piano and was adorably trying to play along with the warm ups.  But it had been worse when Sam had looked up at him with an expression of apology, with eyes that sent a message telling Kurt that they needed to talk, and they needed to do it soon. 

Kurt had moved to the end of the piano, as far away as he could get from Sam, to eliminate distraction. 

And Blaine.  Where had he been?  Wandering around the room giving advice to the jazz band members they’d impressed into service for Sectionals tonight. 

Yes, Sectionals had been important.  Fuck their relationship because the show must go on. 

And then halfway through ABC, Kurt had caught sight of Sebastian in the audience.  His face trained on Blaine’s performance.  If he hadn’t been distracted enough. 

And now, his number one distraction had tracked him down. 

“You should have known I was.  I made it pretty clear that I wanted to talk to you,” Sam replied.

“Sam, I’m really tired.  Can we not do this?”

“Where’s my Kurt?” Sam asked quietly as he crossed the room. 

His Kurt.  Damn.  That shouldn’t affect him like this.  He wasn’t Sam’s Kurt and never had been. 

“What are you talking about?” Kurt snapped.

“Where’s the Kurt that used to fight back all the time?  Where’s the Kurt who smarts off in class and makes show tunes indecently sexy?  Where’s the Kurt that doesn’t give a fuck what people think of him?  I used to know that Kurt.  I miss that Kurt.”

Sam looked amazing in the white blazer and black pants they’d worn for their performance.  Sam was the one that was indecently sexy.  And Kurt wasn’t supposed to notice that.  Not anymore.

 _Indecently sexy_?   Kurt snorted.  And that was what he’d taken away from Sam’s mini speech?  Just the indecently sexy part? 

“I don’t know Sam.  You tell _me_ where he is,” Kurt replied.

He could admit that he didn’t fight anymore.  There was no point.  The only person he even bothered fighting anymore was Sebastian.  And his rounds with him were for self-preservation. 

After all the energy and time and tears he’d put into this relationship with Blaine, Sebastian could not win.  Kurt would not allow it.  So all his energy went into that because he was usually too tired to do anything more.

“I think he’s standing right here, but he’s too defeated to show himself.  What happened?”

“Nothing happened Sam.  Nothing other than what normally happens in my life.  So it doesn’t even matter.  Nothing will change,” Kurt straightened his jacket started to walk away.

“Wait,” Sam’s voice was low and husky.

“I can’t.  I can’t do this, Sam.  I don’t have the energy or the time for this,” his voice broke and he hated himself for that. 

“Kurt,” Sam whispered and came closer, his hand held out to take Kurt’s.

“No.  Please don’t,” Kurt pulled away.

“I always hated that you won’t let people touch you.  I still hate it,” Sam whispered. 

“I do let people touch me, Sam.”

“I mean guys.”

“I’m gay, Sam.  Of course I let _guys_ touch me.”  Kurt attempted to make fun of it, but it rang hollow in his own ears. 

Because he knew that Sam was right.  He still wasn’t comfortable with people touching him because of previous experiences with bullying.  And even now that he had a boyfriend, that boyfriend was too scared to really touch him in school. 

He was supposed to understand it, and sometimes he did.  But other times, he didn’t. 

Blaine would grab him into a spin if the choreography called for it.  But there would be no hand holding, no touching on the stairs in case some homophobic jocks saw.  Nothing like that was allowed. 

He’d sing to him of course because Blaine would sing to anybody.  Singing wasn’t intimacy.  Singing was showmanship for him. 

“I remember a Kurt who once held his hand out to shake mine.  And now you won’t do that.  You started to touch me.  You were going to touch my face.  But you pulled back like it would burn you.  Why?”

“That’s not fair, Sam.”

“Do you ever just let anybody hold you?  Take care of you?” 

“I don’t need that.  And what is your point?” 

Kurt didn’t need that because he wasn’t allowed to have that.  That message had been driven into his head over and over.  He didn’t need it because it had to be stronger. 

“When he’s around, you aren’t _you_ anymore.  Why?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kurt lied.

“Yes, you do.  If you really didn’t know what I’m talking about, you’d be screaming at me right now.”

“No, I don’t know.  You’ve only been back a week, Sam.  What gives you the right to…”

“ _Exactly_.  I’ve only been back a week, and I can see it.  So why hasn’t everybody else?” Sam came closer and narrowed his eyes at Kurt.

“Because nobody fucking cares, Sam.  That’s why.  I need to go,” Kurt brushed tears from his face and turned away.

“Wait,” Sam called out, and he grabbed Kurt’s hand and squeezed it gently.  “Please wait.”

“What?” Kurt glanced up at him.

“Please talk to me.  It doesn’t have to be about us.  I just want to know what’s going on.”

Kurt sighed and turned back to Sam.  “Nothing is going on.”

“I don’t believe that.  You look sad.  You act sad.  You act like you’re all alone in the world, despite having Blaine.  What is it?  What’s going on?”

“I’m not sad,” Kurt lied again. 

“Liar.”

“Sam,” Kurt felt himself melting.  There was only so much of Sam a person could resist. 

“Come here,” Sam pulled Kurt into a hug. 

Kurt stiffened at first, because he’d been conditioned to avoid hugs.  If they weren’t from one of his girls, or from Carole or his father, he wasn’t supposed to let them happen. 

Sam’s hand moved to rub circles over his back, and Kurt felt himself relax. 

It felt ridiculously good.  Sam’s arms were so strong and supportive, and they were nearly the same height.  He could cuddle just inside Sam’s embrace pretty damn perfectly. 

Shit.  It was _too_ ridiculously good.

“Put your arms around me,” Sam whispered.

“Why?” Kurt smiled against his shoulder.

“Because I said so, dude,” Kurt could almost hear the smirk coming from him.

Kurt slipped his arms under Sam’s and wrapped them around his back snugly.  He buried his head into Sam’s shoulder, and he sighed.  Why couldn’t Blaine do this?  Despite his being shorter than Kurt, that is.  Even when he hugged Kurt, it was never because Kurt needed it.  It was always when he did.

“Sam,” Kurt said quietly.

“What?” Sam stroked Kurt’s back firmly, with long seductive trails of his fingers. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because you looked like you needed a hug.  And I’m not letting you go right now.  I want to talk, but I won’t make you talk right now.  You look like you’re under too much stress as it is.  But I need to do this just as much for me as I do for you.”

“Okay.  But someone is going to see us.”

“Don’t care.”

“You should.  Nobody else knows about you.  Don’t you want it to stay a secret?”

“Not really.”

“That’s crazy.  Not only will the rest of the school come after you, so will Finn.  And so will Blaine.”

“I can handle them.”

“I’m not so sure though.”

“You don’t have to be sure.  Just shush and hug me.  I need it too.”

Kurt could _hear_ the pout.  Only Sam Evans and that trouty mouth of his could pout so perfectly that it could be audible.  He wasn’t about to look up, because the expression would no doubt be adorable, and then Kurt wouldn’t be able to resist him.

Not that he was doing such a great job of resisting him right now.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” Kurt whispered.

“Why?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“So?  I’m just hugging you.  He can’t object to you getting hugged by a friend.”

But it didn’t feel like just hugging.  It felt sinful, and Kurt’s body was an overcharged nerve ending for Sam’s touch.  He wanted to stop it so he could fight Sam a little easier.  But he also wanted Sam to never stop, which could be problematic at some point in the very near future.

“Yes, he can. And will.”

“Because it’s me.”

“Yes. Because it’s you.”

Kurt took a chance and ran his hands over Sam’s back, to see if he’d get a reaction out of him.  Sam’s hissed quietly, and Kurt grinned against him.

“Fuck him, then.”

“Well, I’m not really in the mood right now,” Kurt smirked into Sam’s shirt and laughed.

“Shut up.”

“Well, you told me to fuck him.”

“I didn’t mean it that way, and you know it.  I don’t want to picture that, thank you.”

Kurt laughed and gave in to the urge to look up at him.  “I’m sorry.  I hope you don’t get PTSD from that imagery.”

“Oh, if I do, it won’t be from picturing _you_ like that,” Sam smirked down at him.

“I need to go,” Kurt said, suddenly very nervous.

“No you don’t,” Sam whispered and pulled him tighter.  “You stay right here.”

“Sam, I can’t do this.”

“You’re not doing anything other than letting me hold you.”

“That’s so not true.”

“Look, I’m not going to lie to you.  Now that I know you had feelings for me last year, I’m not going to just go away.  I wanted you too.  And I still do.  You running from me right now won’t change that.”

“It might not change it, but it’ll help my sanity.”

Sam snorted, “Sanity is overrated.”

“Probably,” Kurt smiled.

“I know I promised you that I wouldn’t make you talk, but I need to ask you something.”

“What?”  Kurt had a feeling he wasn’t going to like the question.

“You said you knew why everything got fucked up last year.  And you mentioned Finn.  What were you talking about?”

Kurt sighed against Sam.  “I was talking about our duet.  I wanted to sing with you so much.  But Finn,” Kurt felt his throat closing a little.  “He said some things to me about it.  Hateful things.  And I wanted to spare you from more shit.”

Sam squeezed him tighter and began a soothing rocking motion, compelling Kurt to sway with him.  “What did he say?  If it was anything like what he said to me, then I know it was bad.”

Kurt looked up in surprise.  “He said things to you too?”

“Yeah.  You tell me first.”

“You knew I had a crush on him sophomore year, right?”

Sam nodded, “Mercedes told me last year.”

“Well, he told me to stay away from you because I didn’t understand that no meant no.  And he said if he’d done what I supposedly did to him sophomore year to a girl, there would have been a restraining order taken out.  And that singing with you was painting a bulls-eye on you.  And other things too,” Kurt wiped tears from his eyes and looked at Sam.

“That asshole.  He told me that singing with you would get me killed.  But I told him I’d given you my word.”

“You’re stronger than me, then.  My dad rang in with his opinion.  He said I was taking advantage of you because I was interested in you.  And I couldn’t deny being interested,” Kurt shrugged.  “I didn’t want to make things worse for you.  Being in Glee is hard enough.”

“We could have taken it on together.”

“But I didn’t know it would be more than just a song.  I didn’t know there was a chance for us then.  And after we talked, I spent the rest of the afternoon crying in an empty classroom because of it.”

“I wish you had come back when I asked.”

“I couldn’t.  I couldn’t talk about it anymore,” Kurt replied.

“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you,” Sam whispered.

“I’m sorry I let Finn get to me.  Even though I know he’s right.  Not about me or my behavior.  But about how people will treat you.”

“Kurt, will you give me a chance?”

“Sam, I can’t do that.  I’m with Blaine.”

“Do you want to be?”

“I don’t know.  Sometimes yes.  Sometimes no.  But I do know one thing.”

“What?”

“I can’t let you get hurt.  I _won’t_ let you get hurt.  Not for me,” Kurt whispered against his shoulder.

“Why is it that you can live with yourself being hurt, but not me?  Don’t you think that’s telling you something.”

“It’s telling me that I need to stay away from you for _your_ own good,” Kurt answered.

“You don’t believe that,” Sam argued back.

“Maybe I do.  Maybe I don’t.  But I’m not letting you come out for me.  Not when you’d get so much torture for it.  And I don’t just mean from the football team.  Most of it will come from Finn.  For some reason, he’s convinced I’m not allowed to have you.”

“Let’s prove him wrong,” Sam whispered, and then he pulled Kurt’s face up to kiss him.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt knew he shouldn’t kiss Sam, but it felt so right.  Kurt opened his mouth and allowed Sam inside, and the kiss became wetter, hotter, and much too intense for him.  Sam bit his lip gently, and when Sam moaned throatily, Kurt nearly came undone. 

But he couldn’t.  He couldn’t let himself do that. 

Kurt pulled back, and he stumbled out of Sam’s arms.  “I can’t do this.”

Sam looked disappointed, but he also looked like he’d expected it.  “I know.”

“I need to think about this for a while, Sam.  Can you give me some time?” Kurt smiled up and him and stroked his cheek. 

He melted when Sam, eyes closed, leaned into the touch. 

“Of course.  But remember this,” Sam opened his eyes and stared at Kurt.  “I’m not going away.  There’s something going on here with us that’s too important to give up.”

“Okay.  I’ll remember.  Give me some time to think.  And time to talk to Blaine.”

“I will.  But I can’t promise I can stay away from you while you think.” Sam shrugged and grinned, biting his own lip gently, and that mouth was so fucking adorable that Kurt just wanted to dive back in and kiss him senseless. 

Damn.  Now that he knew what it was like to kiss Sam Evans, he didn’t think he could look at Sam’s mouth without wanting to do it over and over again. 

That was going to create problems. 

“Oh dear.  I’m both frightened and excited by that idea,” Kurt admitted.

“You probably should be.  I can be relentless when I’m going after what I want.”

The flare of desire in Kurt’s body really needed to just _stop_.  He had enough problems without his body trying to remind him that Sam was sexier than hell. 

He already _knew_ that, dammit.

“Sam,” Kurt whispered.  “Don’t talk like that.”

“Why not?  It turns you on, doesn’t it?” Sam admitted shamelessly.

“I think I hate you right now,” Kurt smiled.  But he didn’t mean it, and he could tell by the expression on his face that Sam didn’t believe it. 

“No you don’t.  Go on.  Get out of here before I give in to what I’m thinking,” Sam nodded to the door, and Kurt smiled and walked out of the room. 

 

 

_Holy hell._

Sam leaned against the wall after Kurt left the room, his legs wobbly and ready to collapse under him.  He’d imagined kissing Kurt many times. 

The first day he’d met him.  When Kurt had so confidently approached him and demanded that Sam admit to coloring his hair.  He’d never been so immediately drawn to someone before. 

So intensely and suddenly attracted to another person, male or female. 

He’d been attracted to others before, but it had always been a slower process.  He’d never met anyone before that he’d just _wanted_ at first sight.  It had been overwhelming and terrifying at the same time.

He’d felt the tug again when Kurt had approached him in the shower to end their duet partnership.  He wondered if Kurt had also been thinking about a different scenario that their talk could have led to. 

The entire time Kurt had stood there and broken his heart by telling him to find someone more appropriate, all Sam could remember thinking was how gorgeous Kurt would look under the steam of the shower right alongside him.  How he’d wanted to just grab him and pull him under the spray and kiss him until he took it all back and agreed to sing with him. 

But none of that had happened, because he thought Kurt hadn’t wanted him at all.  And now that he knew Kurt did, he wasn’t going to lose him a second time.  He didn’t care how much fighting he’d have to do.  He’d fight Blaine, he’d fight Finn, and he’d even fight Kurt himself if he had to. 

But they were going to do it right this time.

 

 

Kurt was sure that he and Blaine had never spent this much time actively avoiding each other.  Ever since their argument over Sam, and Blaine’s vague admission about another Sebastian encounter, they weren’t even looking at each other. 

Apparently, not too far from where Sam and Kurt were having their unexpected encounter, Sebastian had found Blaine and approached him. 

Blaine was going out of his way to avoid Kurt’s gaze about that.  All he would admit to was that Sebastian had come to congratulate him for his performance in Control.  And that they’d talked. 

Kurt couldn’t be angry with him about it.  Because Kurt had done his own version of talking with Sam as well.  And he didn’t even have the courage to admit to Blaine that Sam had approached him.  Even though he was pretty sure that Blaine did more than talk, at least he’d admitted to being there with Sebastian.

It was more than Kurt could say for himself.

But every time Kurt approached him to talk about it, Blaine avoided him.  He’d just say, “not right now” and walk away.  Kurt couldn’t tell if Blaine felt guilty and didn’t want to end up confessing to anything or if he was afraid that Kurt would confess something about Sam.

It was confusing as hell. 

He wondered, as he sat in the floor in the auditorium, singing We Are Young with the rest of the group, if anyone else could see how distant they were.  The few actual couples in New Directions were paired off.  Rachel and Finn of course were singing to each other.  Mike and Tina were sitting together, joining in to harmonize. 

And where were Kurt and Blaine?  On opposite sides of the room, that’s where.  Even Sam was partially coupled, sitting and singing with Quinn, and Kurt found his gaze always drawn to him.  Why did that always happen with Sam Evans?

Blaine acted as if Kurt wasn’t even in the room right now.  They were all bonding, repairing the relationships that had faltered when the girls left the group for The Troubletones.  Hardly anyone looked at him.  Hardly anyone sang with him.  Artie and Sugar were with him, but they were singing to each other, and they barely made eye contact with Kurt. 

But Blaine was bonding.  Blaine was singing with Puck and Rory and Finn, with arms thrown over each other’s shoulders randomly.  Blaine always fit in more than Kurt did.  And it didn’t matter how long they’d known Kurt. 

Kurt wasn’t Blaine. 

He bet if he stood and left, nobody would even notice.  Probably wouldn’t even care. 

Except for Sam. 

 

 

**From Sam:  I miss you.  Where are you?**

Kurt looked down at his phone and smiled.  Sam had been sending him random thoughts for the past few days.  He was being very patient with Kurt.  He never pushed.  Sometimes the thoughts would be just something weird and adorable, and other times, the texts were all about his desire for Kurt.  It was thrilling, and every time the phone buzzed, he hoped that the message was from Sam.

**From Kurt:  We just left Sue’s office.  She summoned me, Artie and Blaine.**

He stopped at his locker and waited for the response. 

**From Sam:  Have you talked to him?**

No, Kurt hadn’t but it wasn’t for lack of trying. 

Outside of school, Blaine couldn’t be pried away from Sebastian and The Warblers long enough to talk to him.  During school, they had next to no classes together other than Glee.  And during Glee, Blaine was more interested in singing than even looking at Kurt. 

Every time he tried to get Blaine alone, he got side-stepped and outmaneuvered.  He was beginning to think that short of sending a text that said ‘ _Blaine, I’m breaking up with you, now stop avoiding me long enough for me to tell you’_ there was nothing else he could do.

**From Kurt:  No, he’s avoiding me.  I can’t get him to sit still long enough to talk.  But I’m doing it now.**

Kurt scrolled up his contacts list from Evans to Anderson and punched out another text. 

**From Kurt:  Blaine meet me in the auditorium.  It’s important.**

Blaine had taken off after they left Coach Sylvester’s office, and he hadn’t stopped when Kurt asked him to.  It was frustrating how when they were in the same room, they barely spoke, and yet, when they could be alone, Blaine would ignore him.

And he didn’t really want the embarrassment and drama of breaking up in front of other people.

**From Blaine:  I can’t right now.  Later.**

Well, of course, he couldn’t.  He didn’t have time to talk to Kurt.  He didn’t have time to deal with Kurt in any capacity outside of Glee.  But had he received a text from Sebastian, the boy would have been out the door in a fucking second. 

**From Kurt:  Stop avoiding me.  What we need to talk about isn’t appropriate for texting.**

**From Blaine:  There’s nothing we need to talk about, Kurt.  We’re fine.**

No, they weren’t.  They hadn’t been fine in a very long time.  Not since the night in the car, when Blaine hadn’t wanted to take no for an answer.  Not since they’d started having sex because Kurt had been convinced that if they didn’t do it, he’d leave for Sebastian.  Everything had changed for them.  Well, it had changed for Kurt. 

He didn’t know how things had changed for Blaine, because he wouldn’t talk to Kurt long enough to tell him anything.

**From Kurt:  Fine.  We’ll do it this way, since you can’t be bothered to talk to me.  I’m breaking up with you.**

He sent off a quick second text as well.

**From Kurt:  If you care enough to find out why, meet me in the auditorium now.**

Kurt ducked into the auditorium to wait for him, and he sat in one of the seats in the back row. 

A few minutes later, the footsteps sounded behind him.  Kurt turned, and he found Blaine walking into the room, hands buried deep into his pockets. 

And looking very relieved.  Not upset.  Not crushed.  Just relieved. 

Kurt stood and walked over to him.  “We’re not _fine_ anymore.  All we do is fight.”

Blaine nodded, “I know.”

“We don’t talk.  We hardly look at each other anymore unless we’re arguing.”

Blaine smiled sadly at him, “I know.  I didn’t know how to change it.  And I wasn’t sure I wanted to.”

Kurt nodded, “I get that.”

Blaine looked at him.  “I kissed Sebastian.”

“I kissed Sam,” Kurt replied quietly.

“When…” Blaine started, no longer angry about Sam.

Maybe the reason he wasn’t angry anymore was because he’d caved in with Sebastian first.  Kurt didn’t know, and he wasn’t going to ask. 

“It doesn’t matter.  I don’t care which one of us did it first, honestly.”

Blaine nodded, “You’re right.  It doesn’t even matter.”

Kurt laughed, “I swear.  For all my no outing policy, I can’t keep my mouth shut around you.  David kissed me and I told you.  Sam kissed me and I told you.  I owe them an apology.  Both of them.”

Blaine laughed with him, “It’s safe.  I’ll stay quiet until he’s ready.  No more screwed up outing parties on the steps of McKinley.  I’m surprised David didn’t kick my ass that day.”

“Our asses,” Kurt corrected, “because I was just as guilty at you.  Maybe we should talk to him about it at Scandal’s sometime.”

“Cool.  I’m sure Seb sees him around.”

“I’ve always wondered if we should have just stayed friends.  We were always so good as friends,” Kurt said quietly.

“I’ve thought that sometimes.  But no.  I wouldn’t change this for anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt replied.

“I’m sorry, too, Kurt.”

Kurt hugged the shorter boy who’d been his first boyfriend and smiled over his shoulder.  This had gone better than he’d anticipated.  The passion behind all their arguing, however, had never been about Kurt or Blaine.  The passion behind it had always been about Sebastian and Sam.  That should have told both of them something all along.  Now that they could accept that Blaine was better with Sebastian and Kurt was better with Sam, all that passion, that anger, between them was gone. 

 

 

“You know, when Rory was singing Blue Christmas, all I could think of was you being so far from your family,” Kurt said when he found Sam alone in the choir room.

“I saw you look at me when Rory was singing,” Sam smiled.

“I was thinking about you.  I’m torn between begging you to stay here for Christmas and begging to go to Kentucky with you.  But I don’t think Dad and Carole would be happy about that.”

“Come here,” Sam replied, and he pulled Kurt into a hug.  “I thought of them too.  But I also thought about you, sitting so far away from me.  Next to him.”

“Sam, I don’t want you getting shit for being with me.  And Blaine and I broke up days ago.  You know that.  They don’t.  We’re not acting like a couple.  We barely act like friends in there.  We’re going to tell everybody after the Christmas special.  We talked about it after Schue’s announcement.”

“I don’t care what they do to me,” Sam argued.

“Well, I do!  You are important to me.  And nobody in there is going to be happy for us, except for Blaine, believe it or not.  He’s better with Sebastian, and he can see how I feel about you.” 

“Remember when you always said you couldn’t be happy with a boyfriend who wasn’t out of the closet?  Why are you so content to keep me there now?” Sam asked sadly.

“You have three ex-girlfriends in that room.  I have an ex-boyfriend in there.  Finn, the ever-present voice of what’s appropriate in the heterosexual world is in there.  Puck, who never ceases to make comments mocking you, or me, is in there.  Blaine is different, because he’s like me, but they are going to be shocked if you tell them that you’re bisexual.  And a lot of them, like Puck, are going to wonder why you’re with me when you could have Mercedes, or Quinn,” Kurt cried. 

“Shhh.  Don’t.” Sam held him.

“ _I_ wonder why you’re with me, when you could have them.  So why wouldn’t they?  And I don’t really want to hear them talk about what a tragedy it is that yet another gorgeous male is lost to the world of gay men.  And how it’s crazy for you to want me.  Because everybody thinks it’s crazy to be with me.  I’m not Blaine, who most of those girls would jump in a heartbeat if he were bisexual.  I don’t want to be reminded daily that I don’t deserve to have you,” Kurt finished, his voice barely a whisper.

“I’m sorry, baby.  I shouldn’t have pushed you,” Sam whispered.

“It’s not that I’m ashamed of you.  And it’s not that I’m trying to stay with Blaine.  I just.  I don’t want to fight anymore.  I want to have something that is all mine that nobody tries to take away from me.  And I don’t want them coming after you, because what if they convince you that they’re right?”

Sam pulled his face up to kiss him.  “Nobody is going to convince me that I don’t belong with you.  But we have got to deal with your insecurity.  I miss you.  I miss the old Kurt who would stand up for himself.”

Kurt pulled back to look at him, “I miss him too.”

“So let’s find him together,” Sam suggested quietly.

 

 

“You start with fun.  You end with fun.  And that’s how you do it kids,” Artie finished his rant about his vision for the Christmas special. 

A special that Sam no longer wanted to be a part of.  Especially not if he had to sit through more Kurt and Blaine time.  And Kurt looked happy about being featured with Blaine in the special.  Even after their talk about being more open and letting people know about them, he wanted to go back to the Kurt and Blaine show.  And it pissed Sam off.

“The Frosty story isn’t fun.  At the end, he melts and dies,” Sam argued.

“I’m rebooting Frosty.  In my version, he doesn’t melt.  He…well new pages forthcoming,” Artie smiled condescendingly.

“What’s wrong with a story that’s a little sad? Or a song that’s a little depressing.  I mean, that’s part of Christmas too, right?  It’s the sad things that make you remember what’s really important.” Sam stood, fed up with this entire situation.

Important things like family.  And Kurt.  And honesty.

“I’m sorry Sam, but the phrase is Merry Christmas, not Morose Christmas.  That’s the vision. That’s what you have to buy into.”

“Well, sorry Artie.  I’m not buying into it.  I’m going to go downtown and see if I can ring one of those Salvation Army bells.  Come on Rory, I’ll give you a ride.”

Rory looked uncomfortable.  “I should memorize my part, Sam.”

And that was it then.  So Sam left, wondering if Kurt would even bother to find out what was wrong with him this time.

He stalked down to his locker and grabbed his books for his next class.  He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but a soft throat clearing let him know he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Can we talk?” Kurt asked softly.

“Sure,” Sam shrugged and followed him into the auditorium.

“What are you so angry about?” Kurt dropped his bag onto the floor beside him.

“Because you’re doing it again.  You’re choosing him.  You sat there, knowing that Artie wants to feature the two of you as a couple in that special.  And you said nothing.  You sat there and said nothing.” Sam bit back the curse he wanted to say.

“We talked about this.  I told you we plan to tell everybody we broke up after the special.  You said you were going to stop pushing me.  But you don’t get it Sam.  Everybody will come after us.  But like always, they will come after me more aggressively.  You’d be the poor confused straight boy that Hummel turned.  Even Finn will call you that.  And he’s supposed to know that you can’t be turned gay.”

“What I see is you choosing Blaine again.”

“What I see is someone who needs to learn a few things.”

“What do you mean?” Sam argued.

“The Salvation Army?  Really Sam?” Kurt crossed his arms in front of him and glared.  “You’re really going to volunteer for them?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Do you even know what that organization represents?” Kurt argued.

“Umm. It’s a Christian organization that supports charity work all over the world, so yeah, I kind of know what it represents.” Sam replied.  “And you’d rather do a Christmas special about fun than something about what the holiday actually means.”

“Then you need to do some research, Sam.” Kurt grabbed his bag and turned to him, “Especially if you are going to be offended that the fucking Christmas special isn’t religious enough for you.  Especially if you don’t approve that I’m participating in a Christmas special that promotes something you don’t believe in.”

“What are you talking about?”

Sam had no clue where this was going.  What in the hell could Kurt be angry at him about? 

“I don’t want to hear about how you disapprove of me participating in a Christmas special that doesn’t promote God when you know I don’t believe in God.  And I especially don’t want to hear about how I’m disappointing you when you’re planning to volunteer with the fucking Salvation Army.”  Kurt replied furiously and headed for the door.

“What do you have against the Salvation Army?” Sam ground out angrily.

“Oh, I don’t know Sam.  How about the fact that the gay community has been boycotting that organization since 2001 because of their policies of inequality against members of the LGBT community?  And my _bisexual_ boyfriend, who can stand there and judge me about religion despite knowing that I’m atheist, doesn’t even seem to be aware of that fact.”

Kurt turned and walked out of the auditorium.

Well _shit_.  Sam had said that he missed the old Kurt who would stand up for himself.  He just hadn’t counted on being the one that Kurt would stand up against.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam enjoyed his Christmas with his parents, but he felt part of him missing because of the fight he and Kurt had before he’d left.  And most of the blame he could put solely on himself for leaving without even trying to talk to Kurt.  He had been kicking himself throughout Christmas break for not fixing things.

Rory had kept asking what was wrong the entire drive back from Kentucky, but Sam hadn’t told him.  He’d brushed it off as nothing, but it hadn’t been.  Sam had felt like leaving without talking to Kurt was going to be putting a wall up between them that he’d never get knocked back down. 

He’d spent some of the break reading up on what Kurt had told him about the Salvation Army, and a lot of it made him sick to his stomach.  But it also irritated him that Kurt expected him to just _know_ it.  Sam had never been a protester of anything, no matter how accepting of others he tried to be.  He’d never promised Kurt that he would ever get to the point that he would be.

He didn’t necessarily want to change the world, even if Kurt did.  That didn’t make him a bad person.   It made him just Sam Evans.  Goofy, dorky, Avatar obsessed Sam Evans.  

He’d made the final decision to go ahead and volunteer as a bell-ringer, despite what he’d found out mostly because he felt he owed them.  The Salvation Army had helped his family out in junior year when they’d lost nearly everything.  He’d decided to volunteer because it was paying them back for what they’d done for him and the Evans family.

But yes, it upset him to know that he was volunteering for an organization that had such a negative history with the gay community. 

But there had to be some sort of compromise.  One where he could feel like he was doing something to help and not supporting an organization that didn’t approve of his lifestyle.

The first thing he had to do was see if Kurt would even talk to him now.

 

 

Mr. Schuester had just given them a new assignment to come up with a proposal number for him to use when he asked Ms. Pillsbury to marry him.  It was a strange request, because he would have figured that a proposal was about as private as matter as it could get.  It seemed weird to have your class come up with romantic songs for him to use. 

But, Mr. Schuester had confused him before, so he wasn’t actually surprised by it.  

Sam wandered down the hall in search of Kurt, because he really needed to talk to him, and they hadn’t had time during Glee.  He found him walking to his locker, and he sidled up beside him.

“Hey! Pretty romantic huh?  Do you think you’re gonna get married some day?” Sam asked.

“After I win my first Tony,” Kurt replied as they walked down the hall.

“Do you have any idea who the guy’s gonna be? Cause I know this awesome dude who does great impressions and is totally into you.”

“Sam,” Kurt replied.

“It’s because I’m bisexual, right?” Sam grinned and nudged him. 

“Are you insane?” Kurt laughed. 

“Probably.  But seriously, we need to talk,” Sam replied.  “Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“Because you ignored me for days before you left for Kentucky.  You didn’t even bother mentioning that Rory was going with you.  And then you didn’t even bother to call until two days before the new semester started.  What was I supposed to do?  I thought you didn’t want to talk to me.  And by the time you finally did want to talk, I was pissed off, so I didn’t answer the phone.”

Well, that answered his question.  Yes, he definitely should have talked to Kurt before he’d left for Christmas break. 

The two of them really needed to work on their communication skills.  If they’d just talk last year, about the duet and the fallout from that, they might be in a total different situation right now. 

“I’m sorry.  I was thinking.”

“So was I,” Kurt replied and led Sam to the nearest bathroom to continue their sudden argument in private.

“Look, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I got angry with you over the Christmas special.  I’m sorry I was jealous that it seemed like you were spending so much time with Blaine.”

Blaine was still a sore spot with him.  Last year, when Kurt had left, it had felt almost like Kurt was leaving Sam for Blaine.  But of course, Kurt knew nothing about that, because Sam had never fortified himself well enough to confess how he’d felt.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.  But I had a good reason for doing that special. I don’t have any performances to show off for my NYADA application.  Except for Cheerios videos, and I’m sure they’ll just _adore_ those shining examples of musical theater.  I don’t get the songs in competition that I need.  I lost the election because Rachel decided to run against me, and then she stuffed the ballot boxes and got me disqualified.  And I couldn’t even get a big enough part in West Side Story to have something to show NYADA.  This special was something for me to have to show them.  And it was supposed to feature Blaine and me.  But yet again, Rachel got top billing, along with Finn and Puck.  So despite the fact that I’m in the special itself, I’m still second to Rachel in the credits, well forth if you consider that Puck and Finn got a few lines and one song, but they got billed before Blaine and me.”

Kurt looked defeated.  Sam stepped closer and reached out to tug Kurt closer as well, bringing them face to face.  “I’m sorry.  It didn’t even occur to me that could have been your reason for doing it, Kurt.”

Sam was into sports, and art, and country music, and Kurt wasn’t.  Sam knew very little about the musicals that Kurt loved, and Kurt had never seemed like that had bothered him.  It just hadn’t occurred to him that Kurt would be using the opportunity because of NYADA. 

That had been pretty stupid of him actually.  He should have asked instead of just going off on Kurt.  And maybe if he hadn’t gone off, Kurt wouldn’t have retaliated with the Salvation Army stuff.  They could have sat down and talked calmly about it.

“I get that you wanted to do something special for Christmas.  I get that, Sam.  And I even kind of get why you’d choose the Salvation Army.  But there are other organizations and charities that help.  Ones that don’t discriminate against the LGBT community.”

Sam leaned towards him, against the sink, and dipped his head.  “I read up on what you were talking about, and I’m sorry I didn’t try to before.  But you know that they helped my family last year when we lost our house.  I felt like I should give back.”

Kurt cupped Sam’s face in his hand.  “I know that.  I remember what you all went through, and I’m really proud that you wanted to give back.  But I’m not sure I could ever agree with supporting that organization at all.  _Ever_.”

“Understood.  We can agree to disagree for now, and then we’ll find someplace I can donate time to that doesn’t discriminate, okay?”

They could compromise.  Hell, if they couldn’t compromise on things, then they had no business trying to have a relationship with each other. 

Kurt leaned in and kissed him, “That sounds perfect.  You know, the special is over.  Blaine and I already told most of the group that we broke up.  We could, if you want, be more open.  I’m still not sure about it because you’ll go through so much for being with me.  And it breaks my heart to think that you’ll get harassed over me.”

“I’m in.  Can we do a song for Glee?  For Schue?  Together I mean.”  He could get behind that idea very easily.  He’d been waiting to sing with Kurt for a very long time.  “And they can try it.  I’m not like I was last year.  I’m done with caring what people think.  I’m done with worrying about popularity.”

He knew Kurt meant well.  Sam had been slushied simply for joining Glee, and that had been when he’d been practically dating a Cheerio.  Being a geeky jock who was dating one of the two only open gay guys at school was asking for trouble.  But Kurt was worth it.  All Sam had to do was get _Kurt_ to realize that he was worth it. 

“Like a duet?”

“Yes, I believe we owe each other one.” Sam put his hand out and grabbed Kurt’s waist.

“Actually, I think _I_ owe _you_ one,” Kurt smiled sadly.

“I have this song I’ve wanted to share with you.  It’s not originally a duet, but we could change it around.” 

And it was a perfect message for Kurt, and everything he’d been through.  Sam was going to make sure that his Kurt came back.  The Kurt he’d seen for the briefest of times before he’d been shipped off to the narrow-minded and oppressive walls of Dalton Academy. 

“Sounds good.  We can work on it after school and then show it off for Mr. Schuester.”  Kurt smiled at him, and it was the old smile.  The one that almost felt reserved for Sam.  He hadn’t seen it since the day Kurt had walked up to him and introduced himself. 

“I really don’t care if he uses it for Ms. P or not, because this song’s message is all for you,” Sam said softly and he reached out to cup Kurt’s face. 

 

 

Kurt was a little nervous, because this song of Sam’s was amazing.  And it was country music, Sam’s favorite, and Kurt was a little freaked out about singing the song with him.  Not because he didn’t want Glee Club to know they were a couple, but because he could never do the song justice like Sam could. 

Kurt’s forte was Broadway show tunes, and songs in his much higher register.  This song required that he sing lower, despite there being one section in the chorus that went into a brief falsetto.

The afternoon before, when they’d been in Kurt’s room and listening to the song, Kurt tried to argue that Sam should just sing the song solo, but he wouldn’t even consider it.

Even if Mr. Schue didn’t think this was a good song to serenade Ms. Pillsbury, Kurt wanted to do this because Sam wanted to do this.  Sam was determined that they were going to do this song in Glee. 

And Sam seemed to look forward to the possibility that this would out him to the entire Club.  He’d kissed away Kurt’s concerns that Sam would suffer too much backlash from this.  But Kurt was still worried, and he would probably stay worried until graduation. 

He and Blaine had managed to avoid being persecuted badly because they’d never really touched each other at school.  Blaine had residual issues with his Sadie Hawkins incident, and Kurt had been worried that being affectionate would make someone target Blaine, and he couldn’t allow that to happen. 

But Sam was different.  Sam had made it clear that _he_ was the one who wanted to be open about being with Kurt.  It made Kurt nervous, but it also felt good to have someone who wasn’t scared to show affection in public, and it wasn’t that he blamed Blaine for that.  It was pretty normal that Blaine wouldn’t want to show that at this school, given his history. 

But then again, Blaine was affectionate with Sebastian in public, so Kurt also wondered if it was Blaine being scared or if it was simply the Kurt-ness of the situation. 

He seemed to be more attracted to Sebastian than he’d ever been to Kurt, so maybe that had been his deciding factor.  And possibly the fact that Kurt couldn’t imagine Sebastian being scared of anything.

Kurt looked back over at Sam, who had placed two stools at the front of the class, and he’d picked up his guitar.  Kurt was going to be singing the chorus with him, and he’d agreed to do only one section alone.  He just felt that the song was all Sam.

“Mr. Schue,” Sam began as the rest of the club got seated in the choir room.  Kurt was still sitting with the group.  “I have a partner for this song.  And I couldn’t ask for anyone better to sing with.  So I’d appreciate it if my partner came up here.”

Blaine smiled knowingly, but the rest of the group looked shocked when Kurt stood and walked up to Sam.  He smiled down at him, and then he took his seat on the other stool.

Kurt ignored the whispers and questions from the group, and he faced Sam rather than the members of Glee.  Sam got his guitar ready, and he gestured for the band to being playing.  The guitar part of the song was very pretty, and Sam swayed back and forth as he played.

Sam watched Kurt’s face as he began to sing, “ _I wanna wake up each morning, with you for the rest of my life.  I wanna feel your heart beating, and just get lost in your eyes.”_

Kurt just lost himself in the song, because it suited Sam’s voice so perfectly. 

Sam strummed the guitar and never took his eyes off Kurt as he sang, “ _You can tell me your secrets, you can let me feel your pain.  You can show me your weakness, and never be ashamed_.”

Kurt joined in with him for the chorus of the song,

“ _Hold on to me when your world's turnin' cold.  When it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control.  You’re hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe_ ,”

Kurt smiled at Sam while they sang, and the whispers in the group had died out.  Kurt risked a glance at the group, and Mr. Schuester seemed very moved by the lyrics. 

“ _Hold on to me when there's no middle ground, and every emotion is comin' unwound.  And you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams, baby, you can hold on to me_ ,” Kurt looked back to Sam as they finished the chorus. 

Sam continued with the next verse, “ _I wanna lay down each evenin', with you right here by my side.  I wanna get drunk on your laughter, and wipe all the tears when you cry_.”

Kurt continued with the line he’d agreed to sing alone.  “ _You can scare me with your darkness, you can blind me with your light.  Throw your worries out the window, baby, on your wildest night_.”

The sang together again for the return of the chorus, “ _Hold on to me when your world's turnin' cold, when it feels like your life's spinnin' out of control.  You're hopin', prayin', tryin' so hard to believe_ ,”

“ _Hold on to me when there's no middle ground, and every emotion is comin' unwound, and you don't know if you can hold on to your dreams, baby, you can hold on to me.”_

Sam stood and walked toward Kurt while still playing the guitar.  He was going to finish out the rest of the song, as they’d arranged.  He smiled at Kurt as he strummed the guitar strings, and Kurt smiled up at him.  Sam was adorable when he sang, and knowing that the song was meant for Kurt made the experience just so much better. 

“ _Baby, you can hold on.  I said, baby, you can hold on.  I said, baby, you can hold on to me._ ”

By the time he’d finished, he stood right in front of Kurt, smiling down at him.  Sam dropped his guitar off his shoulder and lowered it to the ground, and Kurt stood, wrapping his arms around Sam’s neck. 

Sam hugged him tightly, and Kurt felt tears forming in his eyes.  Sam shushed him and swayed back and forth.  “It’s okay.”

“That was beautiful, Sam,” Kurt whispered in his ear.  “Thank you.”

“I mean every word too,” Sam whispered back.

“Wow, you two.  That song was beautiful,” Mr. Schuester stood and clapped.  “That’s definitely in my top choices for what to sing for Emma.  Thank you for sharing that.”

The rest of the group clapped, and the whispers continued.  Kurt looked up to see Blaine smiling, and he held up his phone, which was Blaine’s universal signal for “ _I recorded that to use against you later._ ”  Kurt laughed and nodded his head at Blaine.

Sam looked over to Blaine and back to Kurt, and then Sam led him to a seat nearby. 

Blaine leaned over and nudged Sam, “That was a great song, Sam.”

It was amazing how much lighter Blaine had become since they’d broken up.  He wasn’t tense and irritated anymore, and Sebastian was most likely the reason.  Maybe Sam and Blaine could actually form some of kind of friendship now.

“Thanks.”

Just as Kurt had expected, Finn was staring at the two of them.  It wasn’t a look of disapproval or anger, but more of concern.  Despite his methods, Kurt was sure that Finn did mean well when he expressed his concerns to Kurt.  It was hard to come to that acceptance, at least it had been difficult last year.  But there was a part of him that truly wanted to believe that Finn had changed completely. 

He didn’t expect Finn to become and active LBGT supporter.  He’d settle for a Finn that didn’t go on the offensive about it. 

A Finn that could look Kurt the eye and honestly mean it if he said that he supported him. 

A Finn that no longer forgot that there was a line that just shouldn’t be crossed.

The one time he’d not just crossed the line, but had leaped over it, using the word faggy, had been the one and only time Finn had been outright offensive.  His comments about Kurt and Sam singing together making Sam a target had been mean, but a small part of Kurt really wanted to believe that Finn had tried to do what he thought was best for the whole group. 

“Finn’s looking at us,” Sam whispered.

Kurt turned to him, leaning away from Finn, “I know.  I don’t know what to do about it though.”

“I do,” Sam leaned in to whisper.  He stood up.  “Mr. Schue, I need to say one more thing.”

“Okay, Sam, go ahead.”

“For the record, yes, Kurt and I are together,” Sam looked back and forth at the Glee members, but his gaze rested on Finn, as if to drive his point home.  “And if anybody inside or outside of this room has a problem with that, they can bring that problem to me.  And _not_ Kurt.”


	6. Chapter 6

“What’s going on with you and Sam?”  Finn asked as he walked into Kurt’s room, unannounced again, and without knocking, _again_.

“I’m dating him.  And please refrain from commenting.”

“Since when though?”

“For a little while.  Blaine and I broke up before the Christmas special taping.  But we didn’t say anything about it because we didn’t want people making a fuss at Christmas,” Kurt lay down on his bed and looked up at Finn. 

“Okay,” Finn sat down on his bed.  “It’s just weird.”

“Why?” Kurt sighed and looked up at the ceiling. 

“Because he’s straight,” Finn replied.

“Come on, Finn.  I know you aren’t stupid.  You need to think things through before you say them.  He’s bisexual, not straight.”

“Since when?”

Kurt laughed for real at that, since he’d slipped and said the same thing to Sam.  “Since always.  He just never told anybody when he went here before.  Because of how I got treated.”

“But he likes you now?”

“He liked me then too, apparently.”

“So what happened last year then?” Finn asked.

“Come on, Finn.  You should know what happened last year.”

Finn looked to the side in confusion, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.  He wanted to go out with me, but when I ended our duet thing, he thought it meant that I didn’t want to date him.”

“So it’s my fault,” Finn flinched.

“No.  You had _something_ to do with it.  But I didn’t have to end the duet.  That was completely _my choice_.  At the time, I didn’t know he liked me.  If I had, I wouldn’t have listened to you.  He also didn’t tell me, and he regrets that now.  The entire situation was a combination of things, and not one person was responsible for it.”

“I’m sorry.  It still seems weird though.”

“Why?”

Finn blinked, “I don’t know why.  It’s just weird.”

“Can we not talk about this anymore Finn?  I don’t want to cause a rift between us that will get back to Dad and Carole.  Just let it die.  It’s not your concern what happens to me and Sam over this.  If he gets crap from the other jocks, he’s decided to just take it and deal with it.  He doesn’t need more of that from you, okay?  And he did mention coming to him with questions instead of me, remember?”

Finn nodded, “Okay.  But is Blaine okay?”

“Yes.  He was interested in Sebastian, and they’re dating now.”

Finn nodded again.  “Okay.  I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Thank you.  I know it will take some time, but you’ll get used to us eventually.”

 

 

“Rachel, he was friends with Liza Minnelli and Liz Taylor,” Kurt stared at Rachel in horror when she joined in on the Michael Jackson discussion at the Lima Bean. 

Kurt was appalled that Rachel did not share his love, or rather, the whole Glee Club’s love of Michael.  He leaned against Sam on the couch, and Sam tucked Kurt up against his side.  Kurt relaxed into his embrace, grateful that Sam had so seamlessly transitioned from closeted to out. 

Sam, who’d always been so accepting anyway, had just decided that he was going to show Kurt how he felt, no matter where they were.  No matter who saw them.  And no matter what anyone said.

Public affection had always made Blaine uncomfortable.  And it was strange, because Blaine was not uncomfortable being affectionate with Sebastian the few times Kurt had seen them together.

“All I’m saying is…I..I…I just haven’t connected with him like I have the likes of Barbra or either of the Stevens…. Sondheim and Schwartz,” Rachel clarified when Artie looked at her strangely.

“I’d throw this mocha in your face but it’s not nearly scalding enough,” Santana drawled sarcastically.

“Okay, since you guys are so jazzed,” Rachel amended, “I think it’s a good idea for regionals.”

“That might not be the best idea,” Sebastian strolled up, and Blaine got up to greet him.  Sebastian slid his arm around Blaine’s waist and looked at the group. “Hey Blaine.  Hello, everybody.”

Kurt leaned his head over to whisper to Sam, “Does he live here?  Seriously, he’s like always here.”

“Shh,” Sam laughed softly.  “Be nice.  He’s your ex’s boyfriend.”

“I’ll be nice if he’s nice to me.  But that won’t happen.  You’d think he’d give up since he’s with Blaine now,” Kurt whispered back.

“Why don’t you think that’s a good idea?” Artie replied to Sebastian.

“Because we’re doing MJ for Regionals.  You see, The Warblers drew first position, so as soon as I heard what your plan was, I changed our set list accordingly,” Sebastian smirked as Blaine blushed beside him.

“And how did you hear?”  Rachel demanded, throwing a glare at Blaine beside him.

“Blaine told me this morning,” Sebastian replied with a wolfish grin at Blaine, who blushed again where he stood.

The members of New Directions were staring at Blaine, and he shuffled his feet. 

“I may have mentioned it,” Blaine turned his head as he spoke.

“How often do you give secrets to the competition, Blaine?” Sam challenged, and Sebastian’s eyebrow rose in defiance.

“How often Blaine?” Kurt repeated.

“Oh my god, hey Kurt.  I didn’t recognize you!  You are wearing _boy clothes_ for once,” Sebastian said snottily, and Blaine blushed again beside him.

“Alright twink,” Santana stood.

Sam held out a hand to stop her.  “Don’t San.”

“I think it’s time that we show you a little Lima Heights hospitality,” Santana replied with her trademark snarkiness. 

“Unless you want to join your relatives in prison, that’s probably not the best idea,” Sebastian replied.  “You see, my father is sort of what you’d call a state’s attorney.”

Kurt held out a hand to stop Sam, but he squeezed Kurt’s hand and brushed it away gently. 

Sam turned to Sebastian and stepped forward a few feet.  “Look, I don’t care who you are, and I don’t care who your daddy is, but you will not talk to my boyfriend like that.  You might have Blaine fooled into thinking you’re a good guy, but the rest of us see right through you.” 

“Guys, come on.  Stop acting like this,” Blaine muttered.

“Look, Blaine.  This is what you guys should know.  I am the Captain of the Warblers now, and I’m tired of playing nice.  I want a Nationals trophy, and since Blaine won’t come back to the Warblers, he understands that we have to be in competition right now.  And he knows how I get about winning.”

“Seb, let’s just go before you piss everybody off,” Blaine shot a glance of apology at the group, and he grabbed Sebastian’s hand to lead him away. 

“Look Smythe, we’re not scared of you.  Or your father.  You can just stop your grandstanding and put your lack of talent on the line,” Kurt replied from the couch.

“What do you mean, Gay-Face?” Sebastian sneered and pulled Blaine to a halt.

And Sam nearly went across the table after him.  “I told you not to talk to him like that, you asshole.”

“Sam!” Kurt shouted and grabbed at him.  “He’s not worth it.”

Sam stepped back, and he turned to Kurt, “Yes he is.  It’s worth every bruise if he says one more thing about you.  I’m not going to sit there and listen to him insult you like that, baby.”

Kurt melted, “Sam.”

“I mean it,” Sam breathed. 

Kurt turned to Sebastian, “How about we have a little friendly competition to see who gets to sing MJ?”

“Please, like you’re a challenge for us.  You’d have to grow some testicles to be any kind of challenge to me, Gay-Face,” Sebastian drawled. 

Kurt closed his eyes and sighed, just waiting for it. 

Sam shot across the table and punched Sebastian in the face, sending him reeling backwards, and Blaine scrambling to keep him from falling. 

Sebastian landed on his ass, and he glared up at Sam. “You’ll regret that.”

“Sue me.  My parents are poor, Smythe.  You won’t get a dime out of me.  Press charges.  I don’t fucking care.  But you _will_ stop talking to him like that,” Sam glared down at him and grabbed Kurt’s hand.

An employee of the Lima Bean came up and asked them to leave. 

Well, she asked Sam to leave, but apparently Sebastian got to stay, since he hadn’t thrown a punch. 

Sam rolled his eyes, “Like getting banned from a coffee shop is going to hurt my feelings.”

Kurt grabbed his messenger bag and began to follow Sam, grasping his hand again at the door. “But Sam, we can’t come here anymore.  I mean seriously.  You just got banned.  _We can’t come here anymore_.  The Lima Bean now belongs to Sebastian Smythe.  What circle of hell is this?”

Sam laughed, “I’m sorry, baby.  Guess we’ll have to settle for Starbucks?”

 

 

“There has to be some kind of Show Choir competition committee we can complain to,” Tina said as the New Directions entered the choir room.

“I know it sucks guys, but it’s not the end of the world.  Heck, you had your set list stolen the day of the competition at Sectionals and you pulled that one off,” Blaine was trying to comfort the group members that were filing into the room.

But most of the group just glared every time he opened his mouth. 

Kurt leaned against Sam in the choir room, and Sam wrapped his arm around him, squeezing gently.  They’d arrived early, and they’d been kissing, well, borderline making out, until they heard the arrival of some of the group members. 

Kurt’s mouth was slightly swollen, and Sam kept staring at it.  Licking his lips.  And Kurt was beginning to get very distracted again.  He blushed, and Sam winked at him when they turned their attention to the arriving group members.

“They can have our Journey and our Dreamgirls, but pilfering my Michael, umm umm, that’s another level of not okay,” Artie said as he wheeled into the room, his hand raising and snapping in defiance. 

“I’m not comfortable having this conversation with Blaine in the room.  Clearly, once a Warbler, always a Warbler,” Puck said, glaring in Blaine’s direction.

“Uh, what?” Blaine turned to him.

“Dude, you told them what we were going to do.  You’re like a modern day Eggs Benedict. He’d on notice as far as I’m concerned,” Puck continued, looking around the room at the other group members. “Even when Kurt was here, and you were a Warbler, Kurt never betrayed our set lists to you.”

Kurt looked up when he’d been brought into the conflict against his will, and he shrugged at Blaine, “He is kind of right, Blaine.  Sebastian manipulated you into confessing our set list.  I never did that.”

“Kurt,” Blaine looked at him as if Kurt had betrayed him.

“Calm down, Blaine.  We’re not calling for an execution here.  But you really should apologize at least.  Or convince your boyfriend to change up the set list,” Kurt leaned forward to speak to Blaine, who was sitting on the other side of the room.

“How am I supposed to do that?” Blaine asked as he settled down into his chair.  “We need to stop complaining about the Warblers and figure out a way to beat them.”

“Well, what would that be, Blaine?” Sam turned to him.  “You’re the one who gave up our set list to your boyfriend, something I’m sure he’d be strategic enough to _not_ do in exchange.  So what exactly do you think we’re going to be able to do here?”

“We can take this to the streets,” Kurt stood.  “I had the idea in the Lima Bean yesterday, before your boyfriend decided to piss Sam off.  We challenge them.  Winner gets to keep the MJ set list.  And we have to rely on the honor system once it’s decided,” Kurt turned to Blaine.  “If we won, would Sebastian respect that, and not use Michael for the competition?”

“I think so,” Blaine replied. 

“Okay, since he’s your boyfriend, you get to issue the challenge.  But this has to be an honest, fair, and _friendly_ competition.  We take the high road here.  We don’t have to stoop to his level to get our point across,” Kurt continued.

“Which means your boyfriend needs to keep his mouth shut around Kurt,” Sam stood and glared at Blaine.  “If he says or does anything to Kurt, I _will_ deal with it.  I don’t care if he’s your boyfriend or not.”

“I can’t control what he says,” Blaine said softly.

“If you and Kurt were still together, and he was trashing Kurt in front of _you_ , like he did me yesterday, what would _you_ have done?  Would you just sit there and listen to that shit?  Or would you shut him up about it?  I made my choice.  And every time he opens his mouth and says something like that about _my boyfriend_ , I _will_ shut him up.  So you better do something to get him under control, or I will.”

Kurt looked at the sheer rage on Sam’s face, and he melted just a little. 

Santana was looking at Sam, and nodding her head in appreciation, and Brittany was clapping her hands in front of her.  Kurt looked at both of them, and Santana smirked back at him. 

Rachel looked impressed, and Mercedes looked reluctantly so.  Kurt wasn’t sure how Mercedes felt about Sam dating him, since she’d dated Sam before he’d moved the previous summer.  She didn’t seem to be angry, because she had Shane, but they hadn’t talked in so long, he wasn’t sure how she really felt about it.  Or if she’d even tell him how she really felt. 

“Sam,” Kurt said softly, and his very angry boyfriend turned back to him.  “Please.”

Sam sat, throwing his arm around Kurt again, and he leaned over to whisper in Kurt’s ear. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Kurt turned his head to whisper back, “That was really hot actually.  I’ve never really had anybody do that for me.  Stand up for me of their own free will.”

“I should have done it more last year.  I should have done a lot of stuff differently last year.” 

“After Glee, we need to go somewhere.”

“Lima Bean?” Sam snorted.

“Oh, you’re funny.  Taunt me with my coffee mecca, knowing I can’t go there,” Kurt smirked at him.

“Well, _you_ can still go there.”

“Not without you, I’m not,” Kurt settled into his chair and leaned against Sam’s arm.  “Besides, I mean somewhere we can be alone, because that was just fucking hot, what you just did right there.”

 

 

“Sam,” Kurt giggled.  “We are going to be late for the sing-off.”

Sam laughed, and he pulled Kurt back towards him, turning and pushing him against the wall of the parking garage.  “Who cares?” Sam smirked as he kissed Kurt again.

They had found a corner of the garage to hide in, and Sam made sure they arrived early, so he was going to make sure they were keeping busy until the rest of New Directions arrived.  Kurt wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck and kissed back, nibbling at Sam’s lower lip and sighing softly against him.

Kurt was finally his, and Sam was going to take advantage of that at every opportunity.  He pressed against Kurt and lowered his mouth again, slanting their mouths together and threading one hand through Kurt’s hair. 

“You look so hot in that leather jacket,” Kurt whispered when Sam stopped kissing and came up for air. 

Kurt ran his hands down the sleeves, and he smirked up at Sam. 

“I do, huh?”

“Oh yes,” Kurt smiled.  “You definitely do.”

“Hey Trouty Mouth, Princess, come on.  You can mack on each other later,” Puck shouted as the rest of the group walked into the garage. 

Blaine and Santana were supposed to be issuing the challenge, and Sam couldn’t help but think this was going to end badly.  It was supposed to be fun.  A little sing-off to show Sebastian and the Warblers that New Directions could handle Michael better than they could.

But he didn’t trust Sebastian.  Despite the fact that he sneered and insulted Kurt at every turn, Sam didn’t like the way Sebastian _looked_ at Kurt. 

He’d stood there and wrapped his arm around Blaine, but then his side-eyed glances at Kurt had started.  If he didn’t know better, he’d think that all Sebastian’s bluster was about liking Kurt.  But he had Blaine, and apparently, he’d wanted Blaine all along.  They’d met at the Lima Bean, and Kurt had told him that Sebastian had been all about chasing Blaine from the beginning. 

So why was Sebastian still instigating fights with Kurt all the time? 

He and Kurt barely knew each other.

They turned the corner to see Blaine and Santana confronting the Warblers, but the New Directions stayed out of sight for now.

Kurt rolled his eyes, “Why did we all have to dress like this is a rumble?  And this is coming from me, and I love my clothes.  I’m working this outfit, but really?  A Rumble in Westerville?”

“I have no idea, baby,” Sam snorted.  “I don’t know what they’re thinking.  But Santana is ready to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on Sebastian already, so we might need to keep our eyes open.”

“Everybody in this club is so overdramatic.  Look at them.  They’re acting like we’re about to have a gang fight.  We aren’t about to have a gang fight are we?  Because I did _not_ sign up for that,” Kurt turned to Sam and glared. 

“No, we’re not fighting.  Unless Blaine and Sebastian have something else planned.  They do seem to be mad at each other,” Sam whispered. 

“Sebastian probably did something to piss Blaine off last night.”

“Well, we’re here,” Sebastian smirked.

“We’ve got something to settle,” Blaine announced to the Warblers.  “Both of us want to do MJ, but only one of us can.”

“This was not my plan, Sam,” Kurt whispered.

“I know,” Sam dipped his head to Kurt’s ear.  “Watch ‘em break out Bad.  How much you wanna bet?”

Kurt snorted, “I am not taking that bet.”

“We’re having a Jackson-Off Nick at Nite,” Santana drawled.  “Whoever wins gets the King of Pop for Regionals.”

“Nick at Nite?  Really Santana?” Kurt muttered beside Sam.

“Us against the two of you.  You really think you’re that bad?  Is that what they teach you in that little public school of yours?” Sebastian answered. 

“Called it.  I fucking called it,” Sam smirked.  “So predictable.”

“It’s time to see who’s bad,” Blaine replied loudly. 

Kurt groaned, “My god, this dialogue is horrible.  Why was I not consulted about this?”

“Here we go,” Sam grinned and they began walking with the rest of the group.

When the Bom bom boms started, Kurt groaned because he knew Sam had been right, and they’d chosen to open with Bad. 

Artie took lead, and he and Sebastian were pointing at each other during the song, while Blaine was making faces at the Warblers.  Some of the Warblers looked like they were having fun, but every time Sam and Sebastian got near each other, they glared and pushed at each other. 

The mocks fights were going well, and Kurt couldn’t help but wonder where in the hell that had come from prior to this ‘confrontation’. 

Kurt found himself spinning with Finn and Puck, while Sam ended up on the other side of Blaine for a few sets of dances moves.  Sam and Sebastian continued to glare at each other, and Kurt worked his way closer to his boyfriend, in order to step in if Sam got angry. 

Sebastian glared at Kurt a few times too, which was still confusing to Kurt.  What exactly had he done to Sebastian to make him hated?  He wasn’t with Blaine anymore.  Blaine was already with Sebastian, so it couldn’t be a competition thing. 

Santana took over on the chorus of the song, and she sounded fabulous.  She and Britt looked a bit out of place wearing Cheerios uniforms with black leather jackets over them, but they could work that look better than any two girls he’d ever seen. 

Sam glanced over and winked at Kurt when he finally moved closer to him in the formation. 

Sebastian stepped forward and pushed Sam, and Kurt saw red. 

Kurt glared at Sebastian as he danced, and Sam shook his head no, a signal to avoid confrontation. 

Their ultimate goal here was to be better than the Warblers, not engage in a fight.  The issue at hand was a damned set list, and nothing more.  People were just taking this a tad too seriously. 

Kurt saw a brown bag being passed down the line of Warblers, and it stopped getting passed when it reached Sebastian’s hands.  

Sam had turned away to glare at Blaine, who was frowning at Sebastian’s exchanges with Sam. 

Before Kurt could even figure out what was happening, Sebastian had a slushie in his hand, and it was pointed at Sam. 

Kurt dove in front of him, pushed Sam off to the side, and the slushie hit Kurt, the shock of cold making him gasp. 


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt dropped to his knees. 

The slushie had hit him right in chin, and some of it splashed up in his face.  It began dripping down his throat, under his shirt, and he felt a burning sensation in his skin.

Kurt pulled at his clothes, grasping at his throat.  _Shit_.

The burning sensation was horrible, and it reminded him of the last time he had a severe allergic reaction.  Kurt had to get this stuff off him.  _Now_.

Kurt turned to Sam, who was looking at him,

“Baby, are you okay?” 

“No, need this stuff off.”

Kurt felt the itching begin.  Hives.  _Oh shit_. 

“Need my bag,” Kurt muttered.  “Car.  Now.”

Brittany and Tina ran for his bag, which he’d left in his car.

Puck saw Kurt pulling at his throat, and scratching, and he pounced on Sebastian. 

“You son of a bitch.  What was in that?” Puck shouted.

Sebastian, being manhandled by Puck, and the rest of the Warblers were standing, staring at Kurt.  Puck was doing his best to rough him up, but Kurt really didn’t care about that.  Sam looked torn between beating Sebastian half to death and grabbing Kurt and heading for the car.

“Is it on my face?” Kurt gasped, and he was frightened at the hoarse sound in his voice.

“Yeah.  Some of it is,” Santana stepped forward and squatted down next to him. 

Sam stripped off his shirt and handed it to her.  Santana used it to wipe off some of the slushie from his face.  “This is bad.  Hives.”

“What is this?” Santana paled.

“Allergy.  Need my Epipen.”

“How are you allergic to slushies?  You get them all the time,” Santana replied with confusion.

“Not sure,” Kurt murmured.

Sam stepped to him, “What can I do?”

“Nothing yet,” Kurt croaked.  “Need to go to the ER after I use the pen.”

He could feel the hives getting worse, and they were everywhere that the slushie had touched.  This was crazy.  He only had one severe allergy, to acetic acid, and slushies didn’t have that as an ingredient.  He could feel the lower part of his face swelling slightly, and he was beginning to get more concerned. 

“Baby,” Sam said softly.

“I’ll be okay,” Kurt replied and cupped Sam’s face.  He was starting to have trouble breathing, but it would be okay once he got his Epipen shot.  He’d be _fine_ after he got the shot.

Brittany ran up with his bag, and Kurt pulled it open.  He searched through the bag, but he couldn’t find his pen.  He always kept it handy.  He usually didn’t have to use it since his acetic acid allergy was fairly easy to avoid. 

But he didn’t know why he was reacting to the slushie.

“It’s not here,” Kurt murmured and he shot a look of panic at Sam.  “It’s not here.”

“What the hell is going on?” Blaine stepped forward.  “What’s wrong?” 

Puck glared at Sebastian, “Your boyfriend put something in the slushie.”

“We need to go,” Kurt got up and swayed. 

The dizziness had nothing to do with the allergy.  He was panicked now.  That’s why he wasn’t steady on his feet.  Kurt reached out a hand to stop Sam, and Sam looked back at him. 

“Sam,” Kurt whispered right before he dropped.

 

 

Sam was sitting in the waiting room at the ER, listening to Burt and the physician talk.  They mentioned his allergy, and an IV drip of Benedryl, and that Kurt would be fine but he was sleeping. 

Brittany and Santana sat on either side of him, rubbing his shoulders. 

Mercedes and Tina were nearby, hovering and asking everybody if they wanted coffee.  Burt had sent the rest of them home, stating that Sam would text them when Kurt was better. 

The girls stayed with him.  Well, they were staying for Kurt because they were Kurt’s girls.  They’d just adopted Sam as part of their family because he was with Kurt.  Finn was there too, sitting with Carole over in the corner.

“God that scared me.  He just hit the ground.  Why?” Brittany asked.

“Shock,” Sam replied as he nodded his head towards Burt.  “That doc said it was probably that.  Because he panicked when he couldn’t find his medicine Britt.”

Santana nodded and smiled at Brittany.

“I hope my Kurtie is okay,” Brittany said softly.

“He will be.  And I’ll be better after I find out what Sebastian did and kill him for it.”

“That’s not going to help.  And you know Kurt wouldn’t want you to do that.  He’s all about taking the high road,” Santana replied.  “It’s kind of sweet in a disgusting, lets people walk all over him, way.”

“Besides, I think Puck gave him a black eye to match the bruise you gave him at the Lima Bean,” Brittany replied happily.

“What happened when we left?”

Sam had just grabbed Kurt and taken off for the ER.  He hadn’t stayed long enough to find out what had happened to Sebastian.

“Puck gave him a beatdown, according to Mike,” Tina answered.  “Finn had to pull Puck off him.”

“I should have been the one to do that,” Sam complained.

“No, you should have done exactly what you did.  You brought Kurt here,” Tina replied.

Blaine and Sebastian walked into the lobby of Lima Memorial, and the girls jumped up to go after him long before Sam even noticed he’d arrived. 

Mercedes was shouting at Sebastian and glaring at Blaine.  Rachel, who really adored Blaine, looked torn between bitching at Sebastian and comforting Blaine at the moment.  Sam watched her and shook his head at her.  Quinn was nearby, her arms wrapped around herself.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Sam heard Santana bitch at Sebastian.

“I came to see if he’s okay,” Sebastian replied, no trace of his arrogance and dislike.

“You need to leave,” Tina crossed her arms in front of Sebastian.  “Blaine, please get him out of here.”

“Kurt would want to hear him out,” Blaine argued.

“Look, I get that you’re all up on pretty boy’s ass here, Hobbit.  But he put Kurt in the ER with his little stunt.  Why isn’t that your priority here?” Santana glared.

“It is my priority,” Blaine argued.

“You were with him.  When we were trying to get Kurt here, you chose to go with Sebastian.  That shows you’ve chosen your side.”

“He’s my _boyfriend_ , Santana,” Blaine replied angrily.

“And we don’t want him here.  He’ll just upset Sam,” Tina replied.

“Look, I’ll stay out of the way.  I just.  I just need to know.  That’s all.  I’ll stay away from all of you,” Sebastian answered with uncharacteristic humility, and Sam looked up at him.

“Let him stay.  But if he says one thing about Kurt, I’ll beat his ass myself,” Sam said loudly over to the group of girls strongly defending Kurt.

“Fine,” Santana grabbed Brittany’s hand and came back to sit with Sam.

Burt came over to him, “Hey, he’s awake now and asking for you.  You can go if you want, since I went in a while ago.  He’ll be fine.  He’s had these reactions before.”

Sam nodded and grasped Burt on the arm, “Thanks.”

Sam followed the hospital staff back to the cubicle Kurt was in, and he was led through the curtain into the so-called room. 

“Hey,” Kurt smiled. 

His face was still red, but the hives had begun to recede.  His face was still swollen, and he had an IV in his arm, Sam noted as he went around to stand by the bed.  “Hey baby.”

“I’m fine.  I knew I would be.  I could have handled it myself if I’d had the Epipen with me.”

“What are you allergic to?  You’ve been slushied before.”

“My only severe allergy is acetic acid.  It’s in a lot of products like shampoos, conditioners, and other products like toothpaste.  It reduces the pH level of compounds.  But I react badly to it.  I can’t take any medication that uses it as a base.  And I have to have all my hygiene products specially ordered for me.  That’s why I’m so picky about what I use on my face and hair.”

Sam snorted softly, “All this time everybody thought you were just a hair care snob.”

Kurt laughed, “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t tell anybody.  Not even the girls know.”

“But why?”  Sam looked down at him.

“Because do you have any idea what people would do to me if they knew they could use my allergy against me?  To bully me with it?  If nobody knows, then they don’t know that throwing things like that at me could hurt me.  So they won’t set out to do it.  In schools with no nut-free policy, I’ve seen small children with nut allergies get peanuts shoved under their noses on purpose because someone thinks their allergy is funny.  Dad and I talked about it before middle school, and we decided that I wouldn’t advertise it.  Because there are a lot of things that have acetic acid in them that are normal products.  I just have to be extremely careful.”

Sam held his hand up to Kurt’s cheek and brushed his knuckles against it.  “Are you feeling better yet?”

“Yeah.  Will you get in the bed with me though?”

“Of course,” Sam smiled and he climbed up, pulling Kurt into an embrace as he relaxed in the bed.  “I was so scared.”

“Me too.  I panicked when I couldn’t find my med.  Did I pass out?”

“Yeah.  I carried you to the car and brought you here.  Finn went to get your Dad and Carole.  Puck tried to beat Sebastian half to death, according to the girls.”

“It was kind of my fault in a way, because I pushed you out of the way.  Sebastian didn’t set out to harm me like this.  He couldn’t know about my allergy.  But I also don’t know what he put in that slushie.  I’m sure whatever he used was awful.  But he couldn’t have known it would do this.”

“You’re way too forgiving, baby.”

“Maybe.   But you love that about me, don’t you?”

Sam kissed him gently, “Yes I do.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not as worried now, so yes.  Sebastian is outside by the way.  He wants to talk to you.  He actually looks sorry about it.  I didn’t expect that.”

“You can let him in.  Before the girls.  If the girls get in here first, they’ll never leave, and they’ll never let me talk for myself.”

Sam snorted, “You do know them well, don’t you?  I’ll go get Sebastian in a while.  Let him stew out there.  Everybody’s a little unhappy with Blaine.”

Kurt dozed a little and put his head on Sam’s shoulder, “Why?”

“He didn’t come with the rest of us.  He stayed with Sebastian and the Warblers.”

“Ah.  Well, he still believes in once a Warbler always a Warbler.  And I’d choose you if I was in that situation.”

“Again.  The forgiving thing.”

“Sam,” Kurt smiled.  “Compassion is a good thing.  You have it in spades too, you know.”

“I don’t have compassion for people who hurt you.  That’s pretty much where I draw the line.”

“Yes you do.  You’re just so impulsive about protecting me.”

“That’s because I love you.”

“It took taking a slushie to the face for you to admit you love me,” Kurt mocked with a wink.  “What is my life?”

Sam rolled his eyes, “How about if I worship you every day from now on as a token of my gratitude for you taking the slushie?”

“Worshipping must include foot rubs.”

“Guaranteed.”

“There must also be lots of kissing.”

“I’m cool with that.”

“How about random blow jobs?”  Kurt grinned.

“Oh, I think we can work something out,” Sam replied.

“I love you too, you know.”

 

 

Kurt woke to the sound of someone entering the cubicle, and he glanced to the side to find Sam asleep next to him.  Kurt looked up, and the person who had entered was Sebastian.  By himself. 

“Hey Kurt.”

“Hey.  You look uncharacteristically chastened already, and I haven’t said a word to you yet.”

Sebastian smirked a little.  “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Can I ask what was in it?  I only react to one particular thing, and I can’t imagine it would be something people would normally put in slushies.”

“Rock salt.  This supposedly eco-friendly shit they use at Dalton.  Supposed to be safe enough for use around pets and children.  I brought the bag here so if your doctor needed to see it he could.”  

“Thanks.  Did they check the ingredients list?”

“Yeah.  Calcium something with an acetic acid compound.  I already know that’s what did it.  Your dad let me listen in while the doc was talking.  I owned up to it.  And your dad decided not to kill me.  _Yet_ , he said.”

Kurt laughed softly.  “I can’t say Sam will feel the same way.”

“Well, I can understand that.”

“It was meant for Sam, right?  So it’s not like you knew I’d step in front of it.”

“Well, originally it _was_ going to be for you,” Sebastian sat on the chair next to the bed.  “It really was.  I put that stuff in there because it also has a fertilizer compound, to keep the rock salt from damaging plants.  I planned the whole thing just to piss you off.  The rock salt was supposed to damage your clothes, and the fertilizer was just to gross you out.  It wasn’t supposed to hurt you at all.  But then, when Sam was pushing at me, during the dance-off, I got mad.  It was a like a challenge to me.  I’m not sure he and I could ever get along,” Sebastian laughed wryly.

“You could.  But he’s very protective of me.  And impulsive.”

“Well, it was like he was _trying_ to piss me off.  I don’t handle that well.  So I changed my mind at that last minute and decide to throw it on him.  I knew _that_ would make you mad too.  You’re that type of guy.”

“What type?” Kurt said softly.

“The type to be protective of what’s yours.  Like you were that day we met in the Lima Bean.  When you saw what I wanted from Blaine long before he even realized I was serious.”

“I do protect what’s mine.  Always have and always will.  Sometimes that’s not such a good thing.”

“Well, I probably should go.  I just wanted to see for myself that you were okay.  That shitty thing where you passed out and freaked the hell out of everyone?  Yeah, not cool Hummel.”  Sebastian stood and looked down at him.

Kurt laughed, “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt right?”

“Something like that,” Sebastian held out his hand to shake and Kurt took his truce offer for what it seemed to be.  “I better get out of here before Blondie wakes up and bashes my head in.”

“Hey, thank you for showing them what was in the slushie.”

“No problem.  Contrary to what your friends seem to think, I’m not the Anti-Christ.  It was a stupid prank.  And it just went wrong.  But it does make me feel guilty.”

“Why?”

“Because even though you stepped in front of your boyfriend for it, the truth is that I could have just as easily thrown it on you on purpose.  And that would have been worse.  Because that would have been one hundred percent intentional.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing my martyr syndrome kicked in,” Kurt smiled. 

“Is that what it’s called?” Sebastian smirked.  “I’m not sure I have that syndrome myself.”

“See you later.  And you take care of Blaine, okay?  He needs that.  He’s got lots of issues and he needs lots of positive reinforcement.  Don’t get involved unless you can give him that.  It’s not fair to him, and it’s not fair to you either.”

Sebastian nodded and left without a reply.

 

 

“You forgave him?” Mercedes’s voice elevated a few octaves as she barraged him with questions.

Kurt was on the couch, home from the hospital, and he was being waited on by Sam and some of the girls.  He’d told them at least a dozen times that he could get up and get his food and drinks on his own, but nobody would let him do it.  

“Yes, I forgave him,” Kurt rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Prancy Smurf, this whole taking the high road mantra you have needs to go,” Santana glared.

“What will staying mad at him do?  He’s with Blaine, so we’ll all run into him off and on for a while.  It’ll just be uncomfortable for all of us if we don’t give him a chance.  He redeemed himself with me, and since I was the one who got hurt, I think my say-so should be considered.”

Brittany sat at the other end of the couch and put Kurt’s feet in her lap, “Kurt’s right.”

“You always say that,” Santana argued.

“You’re right too Sanny,” Brittany winked at her.

Santana rolled her eyes, but she smiled at her girlfriend. 

“What did he say to you?” Tina asked.

“I really don’t want to share it.  Let’s just say he apologized.  I found out what was in the slushie.  And we shook hands.  We’re good now.  And my reaction has gone away now.  I have to get my skin back to normal, and I still feel itchy, but I’m fine.  So we can all get back to business now.”

“You have to get back to normal soon, Kurt.  We have Regionals to do,” Rachel nodded her head as she spoke.

“Really, Berry?” Santana whirled around to face her.  “He just got home.  At least have a little sympathy.  Even I had some sympathy, as pathetic as it made me feel at the time.  I _still_ feel the need to shower from the rush of actual pity that washed over me.”

“Satan,” Kurt laughed.  “Calm down.”

“Hey baby,” Sam bent down and kissed him when he returned to the room.  “How are you feeling?”

“Good. Getting yelled at, but I’m good.”

“When don’t they yell at you over something?” Sam winked and nudged Kurt to sit up so he could sit behind him on the couch. 

Sam reclined and pulled Kurt up against his chest. 

“Thanks for being there for me.”

“Why didn’t you wake me when Sebastian came in?”

“Because we mutually decided you might have bashed his head in, and I couldn’t allow that to happen.”

Sam snorted, “I reserve the right to bash it in later.”

“Okay.”

“Now hold up.  He can bash Sebastian’s head in but we have to tolerate that sorry excuse for a twink?” Santana railed again.

“He’s Sam.  He gets preferential treatment,” Kurt shrugged.

“Damn right I do.  And in exchange, I get to worship him with foot rubs, kissing and spontaneous blowjobs.”

“Okay, I think that’s our cue to leave,” Mercedes grinned and got up.  She and Tina winked at Kurt and both bent down to kiss him. 

“Bye lovely ladies.  I’ll be at school tomorrow.”

“You better be.  We can’t handle Rachel alone,” Tina replied.

The two of them filed out, and Brittany and Santana stood to leave as well.  Brittany blew kisses to both of them, while Santana rolled her eyes by the front door.  Rachel had gone on a mission to find Finn, who was probably eating somewhere in the house.  

“They love you,” Sam smiled as he watched all the girls leave the room in different directions.

“Yeah, they do.  I love them too.  Sometimes the drama is too much, but I do love them.”

“More than you love me?” Sam pouted. 

Kurt snuggled against Sam’s chest.  “Never.  And besides, they are _so_ not my type.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: About the allergy…
> 
> I did minimal research into a possible allergy to acetic acid. I do not have this allergy myself, and a lot of this is based on my own allergies and my own responses to them. I have a total of 23 allergies that range from simple grasses and environmental things, to severe food allergies, and one identified allergy to a medication. So any and all ER response is based solely on my own medical experience with ERs for my own allergic reactions. 
> 
> Any hypothetical misuse of the Epipen and IV Benedryl is my own, but this is the usual ER response when I, yet again, have to show up there lol.
> 
> I was able to find a brand of rock salt that has CMA, and it showed a compound breakdown that involved acetic acid, which actually IS a compound used to lower pH levels in common hygiene products. 
> 
> This seemed kind of heaven-sent given how picky Kurt’s character is about his skin-care regimen. 
> 
> The allergy stuff is somewhat vague because I do not know how someone allergic to acetic acid would actually react, but a common reaction to gel based acetic acid medication involves burning, irritation and hives. 
> 
> In addition, just based on my own knowledge, Kurt would most likely only pass out if anaphylactic shock had set in, but I have been on the “panic side” of allergic reactions, and I thought it likely that the knowledge of being so far away from medical attention could result in him passing out. 
> 
> So, if there is anybody reading this who has this allergy, I promise I’m not attempting to make light of it. And if you’d message me with how a reaction would actually be for you, I’d be glad to edit the chapter and add more realistic information about how his reaction might go.


	8. Chapter 8

Kurt found Sam in the hallway and held his hand up briefly to stop his boyfriend.

“We need to talk.”

Sam wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that sentence, because Kurt’s face was a little intimidating. 

“Is this about the other night?” Sam asked as Kurt grabbed him by the jacket and led him down the hallway.  He fell over slightly as Kurt tugged at him, and he grinned at Kurt’s sheer determination to get him wherever they were going.  “Hold up.  I’m coming.  I didn’t need to go to class anyway.”

“Shush Sam,” Kurt laughed.

“I’m just saying,” Sam had to jog to keep up with him. 

They’d been making out the other night in Kurt’s room, but Kurt had pulled away again.  Every time they got closer and closer to more physical affection for each other, Kurt seemed to get freaked out.  Sam didn’t mind taking his time with this, but he was beginning to get confused, so he told Kurt that.  They hadn’t argued, but they’d talked some and decided to back off and go downstairs again to watch television. 

Kurt pulled him into the auditorium and pulled him in for a quick kiss. 

“You brought me here to kiss?” Sam smirked at him. 

“No.  Well yes.  But we need to talk about some things first,” Kurt grinned and leaned against the back of one of the auditorium seats. 

“Okay,” Sam stepped up against him, and Kurt spread his legs a little for Sam to get closer. 

“First of all, I have to confess something to you.”

Sam’s lifted an eyebrow, “Yeah?”

“I’ve been getting some shit over this from the girls, and they threatened to tell you today if I didn’t get to you first.  Have you seen the night school Spanish teacher?”

“No, why?”

“Well, you weren’t there last night, when we met him.  And he’s.  Well.  He’s,” Kurt looked away in embarrassment, and Sam wanted to burst out laughing.

“I take it he’s hot?”

Kurt slapped Sam on the shoulder and blushed, “Maybe a little.”

“And I guess because you have a very easily triggered blush response, all of our friends now know this?”

“Well.  Yes.”

“And they threatened to rat you out if you didn’t come confess to me?”

“Essentially,” Kurt looked nervous again.

“Okay.”

“That’s it?” Kurt’s mouth had formed a small oh of surprise, and Sam was very tempted to just lick those lips and forget going back to class.

“What?  What else am I supposed to say?” Sam was beginning to be the one getting confused.

“Well, I don’t know.  I wondered if you’d be mad.”

“Because you thought someone was attractive?  That’s kind of a normal response right?”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Kurt glanced away for a second.  “But I’m not used to everybody else thinking that’s normal.  I’m kind of not supposed to, you know.  Notice people.  Not without there being repercussions.”

Oh shit. 

That thought hadn’t even occurred to Sam. 

Kurt always got criticized for finding guys attractive if they weren’t straight, because that was some kind of inappropriate behavior that Kurt was supposed to monitor in himself.  Or he’d get the wrath of judgment brought down on him.  Sometimes from friends, and sometimes from family.  Sam had never met anyone who had to be as careful with his behaviors and responses than Kurt.

“I’m sorry.  I’m so clueless sometimes.  I forget the shit you went through,” Sam pulled him closer and buried his face in Kurt’s neck.  “It’s fine.  I’m not mad at you.  In fact, why don’t you introduce me to him, and we’ll have a threesome?”

“Sam!” Kurt laughed and wrapped his arms around Sam’s neck. 

“Just cutting the tension,” Sam grinned against Kurt’s skin.  “It’s fine.  I’m not offended if you find someone else hot.  So don’t worry about it.  If the girls come whining to me, I’ll tell them I gave you permission to seduce the guy so we can have some extra fun.”

“You’re horrible.  You’re a horrible, horrible person,” Kurt giggled.

“I love you though,” Sam pulled back and grinned.

“I love you too.  I’m just not used to this, I think.  I’m not used to a lot of things about us.  That’s why I was freaking out on you.  Why I keep freaking out on you.”

“What is it?”

“I’m not used to having someone who can’t keep his hands off me.  I love it.  Please don’t think I don’t love it.  But, it’s just….”

“Just what?”

Kurt took a deep breath and looked at Sam. 

“I wonder sometimes _why_ you can’t keep your hands off me.  I know you want me.  And I want you.  I wanted you last year, but I wasn’t allowed to explore that.  And now, I’m at this place in my life, in my head, where I feel like I’m just _there_.  I was so angry that you saw it when you came back.  You saw it when nobody else did,” Kurt’s voice broke a little as he talked. 

“Hey,” Sam pulled Kurt in for a kiss.  “Slow down.  We should have talked about this before we started fooling around.  We shouldn’t have ignored it.”

Kurt gave him a watery smile, “I know.  It was my fault.  I did something stupid, and now because I didn’t want to do it again, I’ve been taking that out on you.”

“What?”

“Okay, first of all, it’s that sometimes I feel like I’m broken.  First we argued over Blaine, and then the Salvation Army, and I feel like I’m getting my old self back.  But I think that if I fight with you, you’ll leave me.  And I don’t want that either.  I feel like one moment I’m fine and the next I’m terrified.”

“You don’t look like that.”

“Because that stupid façade you see that nobody else sees.  You realized how different I was when you came back.  Nobody else did, and what’s worse is that nobody else cared.  I’m so angry about that.  But instead of telling _them_ I’m angry, I end up arguing with you over something stupid.”

“Okay, so we talk it out like we’re doing now.  That won’t solve everything, but you won’t be so upset afterwards.”

Kurt nodded, “Okay.  I’m not sure how to tell you this without you getting angry.”

Sam glared, and he realized he was doing it, so he looked away from Kurt, “Alright.  Just say it.  If I’ve done something wrong, I’ll fix it.”

“It’s not you.  It’s me.  Oh god, I keep telling you that.  I’m always telling you that,” Kurt laughed, almost maniacally, to be honest, and it was a little creepy. 

“Stop.  Just say it.”

“I made a mistake sleeping with Blaine.  And I’m afraid I’ll be making another mistake if we sleep together too soon.”

Sam blew out a breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding, “Oh god.  Is that all?  You freaked me out.  I thought you were going to break up with me.”

Kurt laughed wryly, “No, I’m not breaking up with you.  But I’m afraid that because I’ve been so fucked up lately that you’ll break up with me.”

“Not going to happen,” Sam leaned in for another kiss.  “Now tell me about the Blaine issue.  And I assume this is coming up now because of what we almost did the other night.”

“Yeah.  Well.  When I slept with Blaine, it was right at the time Sebastian first came along.  He was really flirty with Blaine, and it was very obvious what he wanted.  The night the three of us went out together, Blaine spent most of the night with him instead of me.  And then when we left, he got kind of handsy in the car.  I got mad that he suddenly decided to have sex with me after spending all night with Sebastian.”

“But you didn’t?”

“No, not that night.  But later that week.  After he and I talked.  We didn’t really hash out everything that went wrong that night.  A lot of it got swept under the rug.  But I wasn’t ready.  I knew I wasn’t ready because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.  I slept with him because I thought that would keep his mind off Sebastian.  And of course, it didn’t work.  He ended up with Sebastian anyway,” Kurt shrugged at Sam, as if to suggest that no matter his course of action, the result would have been the same. 

“But he didn’t leave you for Sebastian.  You broke up mutually.”

“Yes, but if it was _that easy_ to break up with him, to end it because I wanted to be with you so much, and if it was _that easy_ for him to end it with me, to be with Sebastian, then we shouldn’t have slept together in the first place.”

“I see your point,” Sam pulled him closer.  “But I’m not Blaine.  I’m Sam, remember?  Sam I am?”

Kurt pulled back and smiled at him, “I know that.”

“Why can’t we just keep practicing?” Sam gave him an overenthusiastic leer.  “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.  And who says we have to go from just making out straight to full-on sex anyway?  We can’t we take things step by step?  Maybe practice doing some things?”

“I never thought about that, to be honest.  Because with Blaine, that is exactly what we did.  We went from no touching below the waist to full on intercourse.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect two hundred dollars,” Kurt looked down shyly.

“You did what?”

Sam’s expression must have been close to shock, because Kurt’s eyebrow rose with concern. 

“That’s what we did,” he repeated.  “We didn’t do any practicing.  At all.  We went from absolutely no touching below the waist to actual,” Kurt fidgeted in place and shrugged again.  “ _You know_.”

“Oookay.  That’s kind of crazy.  Why would you do that?  That had to be terrifying.”

“Well, kind of.”

“But we can change it for us.  We’ll do what we’re ready to do only when we’re ready.  How does that sound?”

Kurt sighed in relief, “Perfect.”

“I mean, for all the joking about blow jobs we’ve done, we haven’t even gone that far yet.  So let’s get comfortable with it,” Sam buried his face at Kurt’s ear. 

“Deal.”

“So, I propose we have one month of incredible make out sessions.”

“A month?” Kurt laughed.

“Maybe with a little bit of hip on hip action?”

Kurt pressed his lips together to reign in a moan. 

Sam was going to enjoy this.  Not just the practicing, but also the torture this was going to put them through.  He was a very patient person when he wanted something, and he wanted Kurt to be melting and moaning in bed.  He could handle a little practicing to make that happen.

“Then we’ll work on a little bit of hand job practicing,” Sam bit his ear and grinned at Kurt’s slight intake of breath.

“Oh god.”

“And then we’ll move on to blow jobs, and I have a hunch you are incredible at those.”

“Why?”

“That mouth of course.”

“ _My_ mouth?” Kurt giggled.  “You think my mouth is special?”

“Point taken.” 

“ _Your_ mouth is amazing, and if you are as skilled at that as you are at kissing, I will not last a full month.”

Sam smirked.  “See, practicing will be fun.  And we can go as slow as you want.  None of this ‘ _hands off one minute, fucking the next’_ stuff.”

Kurt’s eyes dilated, and Sam bent his head to hide a smile.  He wished he could see what mental image that Kurt had formed from his words.  If it was anything close to what he was imagining, that response was very appropriate.

“ _Urgh_.”

“What was that?” Sam smirked. 

“Nothing, you shit.”

“Okay, we can find a place to make out later and we’ll start practicing.  You said this was one thing we had to discuss.”

“Did I?” Kurt was distracted, and his fingers were playing with Sam’s lower lip. 

“Yes,” Sam closed his eyes and lost himself in the feel of the soft pads of his fingertips.  “Mmm.”

“What was that?” Kurt whispered with amusement.

Sam laughed and opened one eye, “Nothing, you shit.”

Kurt leaned in a little to look Sam in the eye, “Focus, Evans.”

“I am, Hummel.  You’re the one who can’t remember what he was going to tell me.”

“Shut up.  Oh, yeah.  Puck.”

That was new.  Puck wasn’t usually a subject that came up very often when he and Kurt were alone.  Or kind of at all actually. 

“What about him?”

“Last night, when Mr. Schue asked where we’d be in a few years, Puck said either dead or in prison.”

Sam sighed, “Not good.  Did Mr. Schue talk to him.”

“What do you think?”

“I think he ignored it and went on with whatever he was talking about,” Sam guessed.

“You would be right.”

“So _we_ have to deal with this because the only teacher who heard this just ignored it.  I hate public schools.”

“I hate this public school.”

“So what do we do?”

“Well, I have an idea.”

 

 

“Oh my god, I need these boots,” Kurt nearly squealed when he caught sight of the boots Mr. Martinez had scored for them for their performance. 

The Spanish teacher took a few moments to hand out the boots, while explaining their historical roots and their popularity.  They’d already chosen matching shirts with bolo ties, one of Sam’s favorite accessories to wear.  Even Puck seemed happy with the costume, but of course, he’d been forced to wear a sombrero and a woven poncho to help Mr. Schue serenade the class.

Mr. Martinez laughed and grinned at him, “You can keep them afterwards.  My brother would want you to.  Now what song are you doing?”

“Bandeleo and Hero.  Kurt’s going to sing with me,” Sam smiled and pulled Kurt closer to him, maneuvering him to stand between Sam’s legs. 

“I really think you need to do the song alone,” Kurt tried to turn in his arms.  “Your voice suits that song better than mine.”

They spent almost an hour just working on choreography without anybody singing lead. 

Blaine and Artie were helping Rory with his dance moves, providing direction and correction when needed, but Blaine kept blowing up at the younger boy. 

Sam and Kurt glanced at each other after the last outburst, and Kurt walked over to the smaller group. 

“Blaine, can we talk?”

Kurt didn’t wait for him to respond before he walked towards the back of the room, leading Blaine away from Rory and Artie. 

“What is your problem?  Rory is trying.”

“It’s not him,” Blaine crossed his arms, and he looked away from Kurt.

“Then what?” Kurt did his best to keep his voice lower.

“It’s Sebastian.”

“And?”

“Nothing.  He and I had a fight.”

“And that makes it okay to bitch at Rory?”

“No, but I’m distracted, and pissed off at him.”

“Is everything okay?”

“No.  He’s being…. _Him_.” Blaine sat down in one of the chairs in the choir room. 

Kurt looked over at the rest of the guys in the group.  Artie and Rory practicing again, and Sam, Puck and Finn were talking with Mr. Martinez in a little group over near the drums.  It had only taken fifteen minutes of watching Finn in the boots before they’d decided as a group that they would just be better off if he played drums for the number. 

Finn and dancing didn’t mix.

Finn and Mexican hipster boots had a sketchy relationship. 

So the group was not about to let Finn try dancing in Mexican hipster boots.  It was _not_ going to happen. 

Kurt laughed a little as he caught sight of Finn’s confused expression.  He couldn’t tell from here what the guys were talking about, but Finn looked borderline uncomfortable. 

He turned his attention back to Blaine, “Okay, what do you mean he’s being _him_.”

“He’s doing what he does best, I guess.  Clubbing.”

“Ah.” 

Kurt wasn’t sure what to say.  When he’d given Sebastian the warning about getting involved with Blaine, he wasn’t sure at the time which boy he was more concerned about.  The clubbing part had seemed to be what had attracted Blaine to Sebastian so much in the first place.  The gay bar superstar personality. 

“What’s that for?”

“What’s what for?”

“That ah.”

“It’s a general sound meaning comprehension of what someone said.  That’s all.  Now why don’t you stop being so touchy and explain?”

Blaine’s temper was really annoying sometimes.  If he felt someone had slighted him, he would not let it go at all. 

“The last time we went to Scandals, he spent _hours_ dancing with another guy,” Blaine lowered his voice.

Kurt nearly snorted. 

 _Really?_ Hours spent dancing with another guy while his boyfriend sat at the bar?

He felt like letting his sarcastic side free for just a moment, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything.  Calling Blaine out on hypocritical behavior was a fruitless endeavor, because the boy simply did not ever see the hypocritical behaviors.

“And?”

“And he spent hours dancing with another guy,” Blaine repeated, as if Kurt was supposed to become enraged on his behalf. 

“Where were you?”

“Sitting at the bar,” Blaine replied, and Kurt pressed his lips together, turning his head away. 

“Kurt.”

“Blaine, really?  I’m supposed to take that seriously as a problem in your relationship?” Kurt pressed two fingers to his mouth, but he’d already let it slip out. 

Crap.  Now he’d have to deal with more issues. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Blaine retorted.

“Blaine.  Think for a little bit.  Back to a certain night at Scandals.”

“Huh?”

“Blaine, you are criticizing _him_ for the same behavior that _you_ engaged in _with him_.  You were the ‘ _boyfriend_ ’ in the ‘ _dancing with another guy_ ’ scenario.   And I was the ‘ _boyfriend at the bar_.’  It’s not very fair to get angry with him for doing the same thing that you actually _enjoyed_ him doing before.  When _you_ were the one being seduced.”

“He didn’t _seduce_ me,” Blaine looked scandalized.

“I don’t mean seduced that way, so just calm down, Dapper Dan.  I meant seduced as in enticed into doing something.  You were seduced into dancing with him.  And you enjoyed that.  But now, the shoe is on the other foot, and the same behavior you liked in him before, you hate now.  Because he’s not focusing that on you.”

“It’s not just that,” Blaine argued. 

He seemed intent on staying mad at Sebastian, regardless of anything Kurt might say. 

“What else then?”

“He got grabby with me the other night.  I said no, but he didn’t want to listen,” Blaine whispered. 

“Are you okay?”

Kurt wanted to feel more worried about Blaine, but he tended to over exaggerate things, especially if he felt he was the victim in the situation. 

“Yes, I’m fine.  He backed off, but he got mad.  And that’s why he was with the other guy at Scandals.  I think he was teaching me a lesson.”

“Okay,” Kurt stood. 

He didn’t want to talk about this anymore.  Not because he wasn’t concerned about Blaine, but because the situation was too familiar, and if he listened to more, and if Blaine became more accusatory about it, Kurt would lose his temper. 

“Wait.  What am I supposed to do?”

“How am I supposed to help?  You are sixteen years old, and you are in a relationship with a seventeen year old who likes to score at gay bars with exclusively older clientele.  If you two would stop doing that, and maybe have a real relationship, maybe you’d both know what the hell you were doing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why were you mad at him?  Just for getting grabby?” 

“Because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”  Blaine looked at Kurt like he was stupid for not getting to the same conclusion that Blaine had reached.

“Okay, this conversation ends here.”

Kurt stood and walked across the room.  He stopped by Sam and brushed a hand over his back.  “I’ll be right back okay.”

He could feel his jaw clenching from anger, and he felt as if he’d blow up any moment if he stayed in that room with Blaine. 

Sam nodded, and Kurt kissed him on the cheek before leaving the room.   Kurt could tell by the look on Sam’s face that he was concerned, but Kurt shook his head slightly to signal that he didn’t need to be followed.

He had to get out of the room before he blew up at Blaine, and their dirty laundry had been about thirty seconds away from getting aired out in front of the rest of the guys in Glee. 

But of course, Blaine could not let it die.  He never could.  He hadn’t finished having his say about something. 

“Kurt, wait.” Blaine’s voice echoed down the empty hallway.

Kurt turned around slowly, and Blaine was jogging towards him. 

“What is wrong with you?”

“I’m not talking about this anymore.  Not with you.  Your Sebastian problems are your own.  I’ve helped in my own way, but you two are going to need to work this out.  You have got to stop shaming him for acting the way he acts.  Because the way he acts is what attracted you to him in the first place.  You can’t just go back and tell him it’s a problem now that you’re with him.”

“Okay, I get that.  But why did you storm out?”

“Because I’m not finishing that discussion with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because you are the most immature person I’ve ever met, that’s why,” Kurt snapped.

“That’s not fair,” Blaine pouted. 

“Blaine, you sat there and criticized him for behavior that _you_ did to _me_.  How do you not see that?  How can you look at someone seriously and complain about stuff like that?  How do you even deal with the fact that you are hypocritical?  When you wouldn’t take no for an answer with me, you got mad at me for saying no, and you said you were just being spontaneous and fun.  Sebastian does it, and suddenly he’s evil incarnate?  How do you not see that?”

Blaine looked shell-shocked. 

“What do you mean, he wouldn’t take no for an answer?” Sam’s voice interrupted. 

“Sam,” Kurt sighed.

Sam stepped over to Blaine and glared down at him.  “What did he mean?”

“Sam, stop.  It’s over now.  It was a while back.  Before you and me, and before him and Sebastian.  We need to let it die.”

Blaine took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “I’m sorry Kurt.  I didn’t realize that what I did looked that way to you.  If you felt like I did that night, when he kept pressuring me, then I probably scared the shit out of you.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“I’m going to go now,” Blaine said softly.  “I’m going to go see Sebastian.  Maybe talk this out some.”

“You do that,” Sam agreed with a slight growl in his voice.

Kurt watched Blaine walk down the hallway before he turned to Sam, “You okay?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you’d go all Incredible Hulk on me,” Kurt shrugged.

“That’s not a good reason.”

“I thought it was at the time,” Kurt pulled at Sam’s arm and tugged him in for a hug.  “It’s over.  That was the thing that I told you about that he and I never worked out to my satisfaction.  He has other issues that I can’t help him with.  I’m not sure anybody can.”

“You should have told me.”

“I agree.”

“I’m pissed at you now.”

“Understandable.”

“No hip on hip action for you tonight.”

“Now, you’re just torturing yourself,” Kurt grinned as he turned and walked backwards into the choir room. 

“Wait,” Sam pulled him back out into the hallway. 

“What?”

“Did you see Finn get all weirded out while we were talking?”

“Yeah.”

“We need to go talk to Mr. Martinez and Puck.”

“Why?”

“We just do.  Puck needs help with his classes.  He’s failing Spanish and Mr. Martinez is going to help with that.  He needs Artie for math, and you for English and history.”

“Okay, is that why he was all morbid the other night?”

“Yeah.  And guess what else?”

Sam pulled Kurt over to Puck and Mr. Martinez, and Kurt spared a glance for Finn, who still had a gassy type expression on his face.  Artie and Rory had joined them, and the guys were laughing at Finn.

“What’s going on?”

“Well, Kurt.  We’ve had a bit of a coming out party.  Rory and I are, sadly, straight, and we are coming out of the closet about that,” Artie grinned.

“Good to know, Artie,” Kurt smirked.  “And Rory.  I’m so disappointed.  But you did say girls smelled better than ham, so I guess that should have been a clue.”

Rory laughed and shrugged nervously.

“And,” Sam prodded, but Kurt had no clue who he was talking to. 

“Mr. Martinez is bisexual too,” Puck smirked.  “And so am I.”

Kurt’s mouth dropped open, and he was sure that it couldn’t have been a pretty sight.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“That’s one of the things that’s been going on with me lately.  I’ve been feeling shitty about myself.  And how I’m failing, and I’m a lousy dad, and I’ve been having conflicting thoughts about guys and chicks.  Then there’s the whole Lima Loser situation.  But I figured if a guy as cool as Mr. M here could be straight with everybody, then so could I.  And it’s one less thing to worry about.  You guys are going to help me with my grades, so I can at least graduate.  And then I’ll get to California and work on my Milf and Dilf Servicing pool business.”

“That’s not going to be the name is it?” Rory piped up with.

Puck snorted and pulled Rory in for a hug, “No, dude.  I’ll call is Fuckerman’s Pools.”

Sam shook his head and pulled Kurt in closer to him. 

Kurt leaned back into Sam’s arms and smiled.  He looked around and watched Artie and Puck bond in their ever burgeoning bromance, and he grinned as Finn began thinking again.  His brain was probably still focused on Puck’s admission and whatever discussion had ensued there.  Sam was smiling down at him, and Mr. Martinez was humoring Finn while talking more with Puck.  Between the guys in Glee and Mr. Martinez, Puck would have enough motivation to get him through the rest of the school year. 

Kurt took another look around the room. 

It felt nice to be one of the guys for once.


End file.
